Friday Funnies

Because any Friday spent with the Muppets is a Friday well spent.

My Slacktivism

I know it's sometimes hard to find time to do something important for someone else. We all have busy lives, and we can't always make the time. But luckily the good folks over at IBM have created some software to help the greater good and you literally have to do nothing ... NOTHING ... but let your computer work while you work.

The World Community Grid is this wickedly cool piece of software that I read about months back in Fast Company. After reading up on it a little more, I was hooked and have been running it ever since. The basic premise: You install this tiny piece of software onto your computer. As long as it is launched, whenever you are not working on your computer, it is working. 5 seconds here, a minute or two there. All the times it is using your computer to do calculations that aid researchers in doing complex research that aims to find cures to cancer, AIDS and others.

Trust me, this stuff does good work and it doesn't cost you anything nor does it destroy your computer or hinder all that excel spreadsheet work or Internet shopping you're otherwise normally doing. Take a moment and get involved, it's free, easy and can make a world of difference.

Friday Funnies

Tonight I'm checking out some standup comedy. And not from a likely source. I'm seeing the elder statesman of "Full House," Mr. Bob Saget.

I didn't pay much attention or give any thought to Saget when he was running that show about obviously staged home videos meant to cater laughter and hopefully some cash. Then a few years back I heard Jamie Kennedy made a funny video about hanging out with Saget and watched and thought it was pretty funny. A year or two back I also randomly caught Saget's HBO special and was blown away that the dude from Full House was talking about screwing co-eds and making fun of the Olson twins.

So he's coming to DC tonight and I figure, what the hell? let's give it a shot and see how he does. It better not be all hugs and light-hearted humor. I've roped Kelly into going because I told him he's going to tell some dirty jokes and it should be funny. Come through for me, Saget!

My Return to Title Form

It's been almost a decade since I left St. Petersburg, Florida. I don't necessarily miss the job (because not many of us are missing the ever-shrinking journalism field) but I've always loved the people I met there. Thankfully, I've kept up with many of my former co-workers, and one of those ways has been playing in a fantasy baseball league. And though I was not there, naming my team after my office nickname was easy. When I worked there, during one of the morning shifts when we'd all been working the night before until 1 a.m. and then had to be back at work at 8 a.m., we often got a little punchy during those morning shifts. So Todd, Ecton and I had an oddly in-depth discussion of original Star Trek TV series. We all talked about the hilarious aliens Kirk had to fight, and one of m favorite was the Mugato, which basically was a gorilla suit painted white with a huge, inappropriately designed horn glued to the head. So when they gave me a stuffed animal version as my going-away gift, my legacy was born.

Anyone who knows me is well aware that baseball is far from my favorite sport. Far, far, far from it. I'm mocked for loving soccer devoutly and getting a little too excited about odd sports like curling. Nevertheless, I joined because I wanted to be able to stay in touch with these guys and gals. In a weird turn, I won the league back in 2003, and the other owners were stunned that someone who knew so little could pull off the win.

And now they must be hating me, because I won again. And I killed it. I think I moved into first place some time in June and never relinquished the lead. Ever. It was amazing. It was just total domination. Click on the roster to appreciate my success.

My Justice, I Guess

Many of you know that I had quite the unfortunate run-in with a mugging earlier this year. Well, at long last it seems the justice system has runs it course and now I have some justice. It is by no means closure because that kind of thing lingers forever. But at least I can say that I the individuals were caught and justice was done. Want to know more? Read the press release. This doesn't have all the unfortunate details, but it gets the main points across. My intrepid law team advises that I let the release do the talking and maybe someday in the future I can let loose about the experience and my thoughts.

Friday Funnies

It's been awhile since the Friday Funnies, and I need to bring them back in style. I don't have children, and that's not a bad thing. But several of my friends do, and this video passed along by my pal Dave is hilarious and the fact that the one guy has a UK visor on at least gives me the chance to say that Kentucky fans are a creative bunch.

Put on Notice: True Blood

The wife and I were True Blood fans from the start. We've always enjoyed the witty dialogue and the goofiness the show brought. Plus, as opposed to that teen abstinence/melodrama crap that Twilight and others peddle, True Blood is great because it gives you laughs, some "damn, where'd that come from" violence and then some "damn, where'd that come from" sex that is almost comical on how close to porn it wants to be. I think it took all of four episodes of the first season for us to start declaring it not True Blood, but Vampire Porn. We jest.

But with the combination of the MaryAnn weirdo orgy story last season, Tara putting up Wet Rag Hall of Fame numbers and this season being rather bland on action, the wife is getting antsy. We both think Eric and Jessica are the best things going on that show, but when it turned out Sookie was a fairy, it went from bad to worse. She's starting to believe the first two seasons of goodness may be the best we'll see. And the way this season ended was less than stellar for her, and as the credits rolled, she let loose a doozy.

"I don't want another fucking season of fucking fairies drinking fucking fairy water from the fucking fairy cup of the fucking fairy pond in fucking fairyland."

Well there you you have it, True Blood. I think you have been put on notice. Better get your ass in gear next season. Just sayin'.

Game On: Week of Sept. 3

Here is my column from last week. Thanks to the Casper Star-Tribune for being a regular publisher of the column. I reviewed Metroid: Other M and Ys Seven.

Happy 9-02-10 Day

Yeah, I watched me some 90210 when I was young. That's right, I did. There wasn't 8 million channels on TV. There was no Sopranos or The Wire or True Blood or any of the other kick-ass shows that exist today. You had a limited number of viewing choices back then, and everything was shown in black&white. Or something like that.

Anyway, I normally miss out on these weird mayan calendar-type days, where the dates all match up into some weirdo form of significance. For someone who was just a half-day away from having a 7-7-77 birthday (which still pisses me off to this day), you'd think I'd be more attuned to this stuff. But for all the ones I missed, I actually knew this one was coming up. I guess my mind is just in a weird space these last few months.

I bailed on 90210 once Kelly Kapowski showed up. Sorry, Tiffani, but you playing the role of a hard-edged bar manager who's a total bitch did not gel with my thoughts of you being the cutesy, ditzy girlfriend in the Zack-AC Slate love triangle. But by the time she arrived, I think I had seen enough. One of my first TV crushes, Andrea Zuckerman (hey, what can I say, I had a thing for journalists), got pregnant and married that weird law school guy. Oh, and she was apparently 53 years on while on that show. Plus, the only people who hadn't hooked up by that point were Brandon and Brenda, and if Shannon Dougherty hadn't left the show I bet they would have gone there. The wife still ranks Brenda as one of her favorite TV characters of all time, because she was one of the first real bitches of primetime TV.

In all honesty, I'll close by saying that if you want the highest of high comedy, just watch some episodes on SoapNet and check out the clothes. After awhile, you'll be blinded by your tears of laughter. There were so many plotlines that make me laugh to this day that I can't bother recounting them all, and I am sure that I've forgotten some good ones. But here are some of my personal favs:

Emily Valentine
By far and away my favorite. In the span of a few episodes (maybe 45 minutes of actual on-air screen time), Emily meets Brandon, flirts, gets rejected, drugs him, dates him, sings a really bad song, gets dumped by him, stalks him and then attempts to burn the entire group's float in his driveway. Fucking. Classic.



Brandon's Gambling Problem
I was gambling on sports before Brandon decided to delve into that world, but his exploits were pretty damn funny, and one episode even featured Pete Rose for christ's sake. Good stuff. Plus, the fact that he runs bets through his college professor is classy.

David's Music Career
This travesty spanned several seasons. Poor geeky David thought he had it all figured out in the music world, and it was utterly painful. When the wife and I DVR'd a ton of 90210 episodes on SoapNet because I knew the Emily Valentine arc was coming around, we ended up breezing through a ton of other episodes and holy shit was his music awful. I'm glad I noticed it early on before I started wearing matching satin dance outfits like two guys I went to grade school once did at a mixer. Those dudes were lame. Prepare for your ears to bleed.



Donna Martin Graduates
Everyone knows this one. It wasn't exactly my favorite, but when I saw the replay of it I could help but laugh. Just the idea that all those students were facing suspension over one student was comical. That Donna got Don Draper-level hammered off of what seemed to be a whiff of alcohol was even more precious.



Some other notables:
-- Brenda becomes an animal-rights terrorist over medical testing
-- Brandon solving the hostage situation at the TV station
-- Anything involving 70-year-old Ian Ziering acting like a teenager
-- Dylan's gun problems
-- Kelly getting raped/brainwashed/lesbianed/saved all in about 3 episodes
-- Barry Bonds' appearance and talking about not doing PEDs
-- Steve getting falsely accused of rape, then dating the girl the accuser for about 5 episodes
-- And to further hammer it home, anything involving David's music career

Game On: Week of Aug. 27

Here is my column from last week. Big thanks to the Seattle Times for running it. They are becoming quite the regular publisher and I that's exciting to see. The games I reviewed were Mafia II and Kand & Lynch 2: Dog Days.