Friday Funnies

This weekend the wife is getting back in the saddle again. No, really, she is. For the next four weekends she is taking horseback riding lessons. She loves horses, and after we recently watched the excellent documentary "Buck," she decided it was time to get back up on a horse and ride around. So in honor of her brave pursuit (I prefer to wager on the ponies, and leave the riding cowboys, mounted police and 18th century train robbers), I give her my favorite thoughts on the horse riding experience, which she hates because she never wants to think of a horse as glue.

Idiot of the Day

Holy crap. I hate NASCAR, and this just helps me enjoy that hatred that much more. If you can't wait, fast forward to the 7-minute mark. That's when the Oscar gets handed out.

My Heart in a Jar

For years I ate fruit as breakfast. Or maybe a muffin or a bagel. Because damn I love a bagel. The Jersey in me shines through when a bagel is placed nearby; I'll devour a sack of bagels like my dogs attack a rawhide.

Early last year, I decided to abandon that and start eating oatmeal on a regular basis, because I've read too many articles that getting the fiber in regularly is a good thing for the ticker. I've always been a big fan of eating a handful of almonds every day, but adding in the oatmeal is apparently another good way to keep the ticker going strong. Plus, as the wife constantly reminds me, "Grandad has eaten oatmeal every morning for his entire life and he's 429 years old a going strong, so think of that when you make that face about oatmeal." Fair enough.

But apparently I got this off on the wrong foot. I got hooked on the instant oatmeal packets (preferably the Cinnamon and Apple flavored one), and thought I was in a good place. Then a number of people told me that those packets don't have half the nutrients you actually need, and the oatmeal is on the crappier side of oatmeal.

Now I've gone whole hog. Got myself what seems like a storm shelter's worth of oatmeal, and every night I pack a little jar. 3/4ths of a cup of oats, some currrants and a pinch of brown sugar. Yeah, it's more work than the instant packets, but it's nicer to use fresh ingredients and putting all of it together regularly is another way to get closer to the real thing instead of relying (and buying) someone else's creation. Now I've just got the same oatbag, (or oatjar, depending on how you look at it) and in my goofy mind my heart is happier already. My heart is in this jar's hands, so do good for me jar.

Friday Funnies XXIII

Tomorrow night I am going to see Jerry Seinfeld live at the Kennedy Center. Looking forward to it. It will be the third time I have seen him live and he never fails to deliver. So in honor of going to see him in person, here are a couple clips of funny jokes of his that I like.