My Childhood, Bastardized

I have to admit that when I was a kid, I was a huge GI Joe fan. I had the firgurines. I had the cars and the trucks and make-believed my way to American military dominance of my backyard and my best friend Jason's attic. Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Gen. Hawk, Scarlett, Duke, Lady Jaye, Cobra Commander, Destro, Shipwreck and many more. Loved em all. Call me a nerd, I was 8 and loved the toys. Get over it.

Well last year they decided to make a movie out of the franchise. And it needed to be good, because it was live action and there was already a Joe movie that had some pretty messed up scenes for a younger kid to watch, the least of which was watching Duke get stabbed in the heart with a snake and tons of other classic characters messed up by some aliens and stuff. And the enemies are a race of snake people. I'm petrified of snakes now. At age 8, it was shear terror. Not cool.

Watch the clip. Love the crotch flying at me at the 43 second mark. Yeah, thanks for that, the whole movie suffers without it. Plus, the guy screaming "COBRAAAAAAAA" is probably making shakes at DQ right now. Plus, besides the hectic nature of that opening (in which 11 million explosions leave the Statue of Liberty unscathed), I love how Duke is able to fly a bomb about 8 miles in the air and escape all in 5 seconds (2:46 mark). Love it. Plus, wait for the credits to start rolling. Don Johnson? Burgess Meredith? Holy crap, poor Burgess Meredith. He was the Penguin for god's sake. Rough times.

Maybe that was a little too much information. I'm a dork, I get it. They are making a new GI Joe movie. With real people. Like Dennis Quaid. And one of the Wayans. And Destro, who for my entire life had a chrome head, is now just a regular English dude. Not cool. Needless to say, I am heavily concerned. And this trailer makes absolutely no sense, but I do love that the "French are pretty upset." Yeah, so am I.

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Oh, Hell Yes

Big props to Kristin for pointing this out to me. I really hoping central casting calls me for the guy playing basketball.

This Is How It Starts

Wanna avoid swine flu? Don't do this. And, yes, that kid is probably from Arkansas. Nothing good comes from that state.

Disappointment

My weekend is off to a bad start. I'm bummed.

You already saw that I made a website for my photography to help take my work up a notch. Well I decided to covertly do the next best thing ... apply to be in an art show.

Not just any art show, either. The Saint James Court Art Show back in my hometown of Louisville. I sooooo wanted to get it and surprise my mom with the news. She goes every year and I used to go when I lived there. And nothing would have been cooler than to show my stuff there. Plus, magazines this year have rated the show in the top 5 of art shows in the whole country.

Well, I got rejected. And it sucks.

I really did think I was getting in. They only had four photographers in the whole show last year, and I thought my stuff was at least on par with theirs. But a jury of 5 people rejected me. And the form e-mail telling me to suck it was very dry and cold. Not that I expected a hug from them.

So I'm bummed. It's just one show and it's not the end of the world. But it was my first real attempt at making "the leap" and I fell before takeoff.

New Dwellings

So the wife and I have decided to move. After 6 glorious years in our condo, which saw us gain a dog, a proposal (and acceptance), some new furniture and a sweet TV, it's just time for a bigger space. Kelly and Dboy think its because we're suddenly going to start popping out kids, and they could not be more wrong. Mainly I think we're tired of only being able to walk 20 feet away from each other when we're fighting, so we need a bigger place to stew and stomp away. Something more like Thunderdome.

Anyhow, here is our listing. Know someone looking for a sweet condo, believe me, we took damn good care of the place.

Happy Earth Day Everyone

Nothing long or poetic here. Just a note saying that it's Earth Day and that is not being lost on me. I try and fill this space with useful tips and projects that I am doing (and forcing my mom to do) to make a difference. Even the small stuff makes a difference, because it's all cumulative. Both in action and in mind. Let's keep doing the good work and trying to change the way we approach living.

Comical? No, That's You, Sir

I don't watch the Sunday morning talk shows. It's just too much. Even for a DC-resident. I can't handle it. I just want to break things the times I have watched them. Political affiliation aside, I can't stand any of it.

But that won't stop me from pointing out clips like this, where the Republican leader looks and sounds like a complete moron. I love it. I just like him evading the most basic questions being posed by George Steph. Good stuff. But go ahead and keep talking Boehner about how fighting global warming means the end of American civilization. Jackass.

Weekends in the 21st Century

Theresa held a nice little gathering Saturday to celebrate the return of Mg & Emily to DC. They were some of the first friends I made here in the big city and when they decided to move back to their native Ohio to raise their kids and start a kingdom of their own in Akron, we were all sad to see them leave.

They were back in town for a limited engagement, and so Saturday's party was a mix of kids flying around like beheaded chickens on speed, adults drinking and a Wii getting a serious workout. I play Wii all the time as part of my job writing my column, but many of the attendees were getting their first taste and the results were, needless to say, awesome.

The highlight was all 11 of us getting overly excited over our skills (or lack thereof) at Wii Bowling and the Ski Jump. The guys got some work in on Skate It, and I was landing some serious stuff in the half-pipe, but bowling and ski jumping was where it was at. We found out over the course of the party that besides distance, ski jumping was all about form. And no one, and I mean NO ONE, showed that off better than Kelly, who tried to do his best Simon Ammann all day long. The rest of us were most of the time looking like this poor fella. I mean, just look at that form he's displaying in the photo. Well done, sir.

In the end, our man Flynn had one of the best remarks. "Just look, it's a saturday and all the kids are outside playing in the yard while the adults are inside playing on a Wii." We all laughed and then agreed, that's weekends in the 21st century.

It's Just a Hooded 6 Iron

Everyone who knows me knows I love two sports very, very much. Soccer and golf. UK basketball is in an elite status all by itself so that doesn't count. The guys who play golf with me also know that I jokingly act like I have every shot possible out on the course just sitting in my bag. Out of the woods? I have that club. Skipper across water? Got that club. Off the jowls of a gopher or squirrel? Got that club. Between the legs, 278-yarder over a mountain? You get the picture. Anyway, my standard response is always, "No problem, that's just a hooded 6 iron." It's a classic for me, but always a goodie.

Dboy sent this video to me, and I was amazed. Anytime you have to ride a helicopter just to finish a hole, that should tell you something. And the idea that this is just a par 3 hole? Jiminycrickets. No worries, though. It's just a hooded 6 iron.

Gettin Serious-er

First taking photos was something I wanted to do because my buddy Bill is really good at it and I was jealous. I knew I could never get as good as him, but I thought I had a chance to put some decent stuff on film.

I bought a Nikon N90s and took a couple classes at the Smithsonian. They were cheap, and I could not afford the fancy stuff at the Corcoran or elsewhere. My first efforts, looking back, are hilarious. I showed Bill photos of flowers and fountains and though Ansel Adams could kiss my ass. Bill always smiled and was like, "Uh-huh, those are pretty good." I'm sure he was laughing his ass off at me for thinking a slightly underexposed bunch of yellow flowers was gallery-ready.

I've since tried to take it all a bit more serious. I decided to schlep out the money for a newer digital camera and some accompanying gear. I started packing less clothes on vacations to fit in my camera and tripod. Then I bought a camera bag to travel with so it could fit my laptop and the two other lenses I bought. When trampsing around Hawaii, Paris, NYC or DC, I start feeling like I am part of a wider crew of people. Other photographers start nodding at me like I know what I am doing, instead of rolling their eyes like they do the tourists with their low-end gear (even though that stuff can still take better pictures than I do just because it's all about self-satisfaction).

When my organization moved into newer digs and I got my own office, I started hanging up my own photography while others were using stuff bought at Pier 1 or posters from other stores. I'm not going to knock the people who hang "art" their kids made in pre-K. Go for it, even if you cannot tell what the hell they made.

Now I figured it's time to take another next step. I've registered a domain and got my stuff on a whole website of its own. www.chriscampbellphotos.com. There are about 9,000 other Chris Campbells out there, and they took all the other photo-related domains, so that is the best I could get. Now I can fool others into thinking that I have an ounce of skill. From now on that top, right menu bar directing you to my online galleries will be replaced with a teaser to my real website. It's kinda buddy right now, but with time I will improve it. So go on over and check it out when you can, and tell your friends. Everyone enjoys a new website to check out, they'll thank you for it later.

Trailer Love

Can't help but a trailer for a movie I am looking forward to. The new movie from Mike Judge is called Extract. Stupid title, but funny trailer with potential. Frankly the guy hasn't missed since coming out of the gate with Beavis and Butthead and then the immortal Office Space. People, Office Space came out A DECADE AGO and is still relevant. And people wonder why the economy is effed up. How about fewer bosses and scrapping the Hawaiian Shirt Days? I have two friends who still work at places that have Hawaiian/Themed Clothing Days. Stupid. Judge's new movie seems to tap that familiar territory, but with a new cast and new story. Looks solid to me.

They're Here

I kept trying to deny it, but they are here.

The vacant, wandering eyes.
The confused faces at street corners.
The standing to the left on the escalators.
The illegal parking.
The picture-taking at the dumbest possible places and times.
The inability to walk.
The fannypacks.

That is right, people, the effing tourists are back in D.C.

I miss winter. They left us alone then. Now the weather is getting nicer, and they are crowding the streets. They can't read a map. They can't navigate arguably the easiest subway system on the planet. Drives me nuts.

I think Harry Reid (pictured) sums it up best.

Least Effective Ad Ever?

OK, this was funny, even if between me and the wife. So watch this commercial, but PAUSE it 27 seconds in, don't go any further:



When the wife and I watched it this morning, she went on and on the entire commercial about how much she wanted to go to Maine. This commercial sold her on it. Lighthouses, sunsets, kayak tours, the whole bit. We've been talking about going to Maine for about two years now, and for some reason at 9:27 a.m. on this Saturday morning, this ad put her over the edge.

Umm, until you watch the last five seconds. Go ahead, watch it now.

Holy shite, it's to visit Michigan. But the best part was that it changed our opinion none. We're still going to Maine. Michigan can kiss our ass. So, thanks Michigan. You just helped push our dollars to another state. And the wife thinks there is no way that spot was shot in Michigan. "That had to be Maine. The ad people must have put the wrong name on there." Poor Michigan, even good ads don't have the desired results.

My Paper Challenge: March Results

Months ago I gave myself a challenge: Collect all the recyclable paper I received and weigh it to determine how much of an impact my paper consumption was affecting the environment. That makes it sound like a daunting task, but it's not considering I can't really scientifically say how my paper consumption screw over Mother Earth. But I was determined to find out anyhow, and see what I could do to trim it back as a matter of making a difference.

I first did this test in December, and the results were mixed. I had churned through nearly 8.5 pounds of paper. I was hoping that this was high, since December is a huge month for video game deliveries, press releases and advertisements for the holidays. I decided that since it was a (theoretically) heavy month, I needed to see what some other typical months were like to get some better statistics.

So I started back up again in March. I collected as much as I could remember to, and I think I did a good job, but I will post later about a rather disappointing realization that hindered or skewed my efforts. Anyhow, without further ado, my March weight in recyclable paper ... 4.76 pounds.

OK, three months later I nearly halved my paper intake. Not bad at all, if I do say so myself. I've definitely been more vigilant about harping on game companies to not bother with the press releases in the packages they send (I get 4 other versions of them through e-mail, so I get the info already). Now it's just a matter of continuing this study and seeing how wildly up or down December and March were. I've already started for April, so you'll hear back about this soon enough.

Greening My Mother: 1.8000000009 Million Tons To Go

OK, so I'm unnecessarily putting my mom on the spot again. Months after calling her out for failing to put eco-preferred lightbulbs throughout my childhood home, I'm out for blood again.

You see, when I was a kid I thought Goofy cartoons were great. Mr. Wheeler made me yearn for my 16th birthday. Goofy Olympics made me play sports to my fullest potential. I have thankfully moved on to more mature cartoon enjoyment. But I still retained two Goofy mugs. One always has been at home for weekend breakfast usage. The other chills at the office where I use it for water consumption.

I drink a ton of water, like some kind of pack mule. And everyone else in my office uses the paper cups by the water cooler or the coffee pot even though there are 9 bagillion mugs in the cabinets. Drives me nuts. Then I found out that 1.9 million tons of paper cups are used each year. EACH YEAR! Use a mug for pete's sake, its not that hard. I have used this mug for at least 6 years, and it's serving me just fine. Come on people, this is another simple, easy change that makes a big difference.

Maybe my mom uses a mug already, but I needed to pick on someone to make the point, so unfortunately she gets it. Sorry, mom.

Under the Bridge

It's been awhile since I shared a photo gallery, so now is as better time as any. Last summer the DC Crew went up to NYC to take in a couple Reds games and chill with our ex-patriot Eric, who had recently moved back to the East Coast from the much sunnier skies of California.

While Dboy and Dr. Dan caught 80-degree sunburn at Yankee Stadium, I accompanied E and Kelly down to The Banks, a legendary skate spot beneath the Brooklyn Bridge. It also happened that it was Skate NYC Day, so there was a phalanx of skaters, from novices to pros. E and Kelly fall somewhere in between.

Anyway, it was a cool day, if nothing else because I finally got to shoot some skate sessions and the photos actually turned out good. Kelly liked all the photos of him, except he keeps bringing up the fact that it was one of his lousiest sessions ever, so even though the photos are nice, he can't acknowledge or appreciate the large prints of them that I made because it reminds him of his failure. Great. That's just great.

So go over and check out Kelly "looking" awesome, while Eric impresses some onlookers while hitting the quarterpipe. As always, if you want more galleries check out the menu in the top-right corner of the page.