What I've Watched: Up in the Air

The Campbell holiday tradition continues, this time with the Clooney flick, Up in the Air.

Like most movie-going folk, I am a Clooney fan. He's fantastic when being in serious films like "Good Night and Good Luck" or when hamming it up and being a good sport like in "Oceans Eleven." This movie has a bit of both going through it. There are a fair share of humorous moments sprinkled throughout this movie, but it mainly centers on the serious, the moments (primarily quiet moments) when you see how good an actor he is and how he sells the character he's playing.

Up in the Air has him playing a professional hitman, but of the corporate type. He goes into firms and fires the employees because the bosses are too chickenshit to do it themselves. These scenes of how he handles it, from one victim to the next, show his ability to be both humorous and reactive without seeming fake. The main thrust of his character and the story is that because of our shitty economy, his services are in high demand, and this feeds his desire to be traveling and alone at all times.

This lifestyle, which seemed really nice in my opinion, gets a wrench thrown into it when he encounters two distinctly interesting women. First is Natalie, a new firebrand sidekick he must show the ropes to. She's got plans to use technology to usurp his usefulness, but their scenes are fantastic as she realizes that the flashiest and sexiest tech isn't going to always solve the world's problems; you need the human touch sometimes. That human touch comes in the form of the second woman, Alex, who challenges Clooney's character for frequent flier miles and need for on-the-road desire. They hit it off, and you just love seeing them together and their interaction. I subscribe to the belief that there are not enough good women roles in Hollywood. So seeing her kick ass against him in this movie was a welcome sight to the typical wet blanket stuff normally shown on the screen.

There are a few key plot turns, but I saw them coming, and only one of them truly disappointed me because I was hoping for the movie to buck convention on one moment but it didn't. I only point it out because the Up in the Air defies other plot conventions that make it a welcome addition to the movie theaters. It's just not always done, and when it is you can't help but be pleased to see it.

Up in the Air, in the end, is a movie that wants to be about making connections to other people and how they can affect the way you live and the course your life can take. I appreciated it, but also saw the film that respected the ability for people to be happy in the quiet and solitude that you inevitably run into now and then. Check out the movie, you don't need to be depressed when you leave, although you might want to, it's not the message.

Game On: Week of Dec. 17

Here is my column from about two weeks' back. Games reviewed, with a special nod to Kelly's brother Paul, were The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks and Tony Hawk's Ride.

What I've Read: The Omnivore's Dilemma

Better than just about any documentary on how your food is prepared and where it comes from, The Omnivore's Dilemma kills it in the first third of the book, giving detailed accounts to the uses and ubiquitousness of America's greatest food source, corn.

I am a foodie and I care a lot about where my food comes from. After years of reading and watching and learning, I'm much wiser about caring about the food I eat. I can't say that Michael Pollan's book converted me to a vegan lifestyle. Thankfully, that is not it's goal. Really, it's goal is simply to give you more to think about and how to approach your food decisions wisely.

Yeah, I shop a lot at Whole Foods, and Pollan makes convincing arguments that this is not always the smartest thing to do: "Just because we can ship organic lettuce from the Salinas Valley or organic cut flowers from Peru doesn't mean we should do it, not if we're really serious about energy and seasonality and bioregionalism." Being just as serious about food as I am about being green, this thought and the subsequent ones about choosing smarter was quite enlightening.

The book doesn't hate on American eating as much as it does on the people who just make poor choices or decide to ignore the issue of choice altogether. America is an industrial eating mechanism, and it's what is causing so much of the problem. "What is perhaps most troubling, and sad, about industrial eating is how thoroughly it obscures all these relationships and connections. To go from the chicken (Gallus gallus) to the Chicken McNugget is to leave this world in a journey of forgetting that could hardly be more costly, not only in terms of the animal's pain but in our pleasure, too. But forgetting, or not knowing in the first place, is what the industrial food chain is all about, the principal reason it is so opaque, for if we could see what lies on the far side of the increasingly high walls of our industrial agriculture, we would surely change the way we eat."

I think the strongest lesson I learned from the book was to pay more attention to shopping at farmer's markets and what is fresh and in season when I am shopping at Whole Foods. Another strong thing that I took away from the book is to treat food like I have the environmental choices I make: I should be willing to pay the premium at farmer's markets and Whole Foods for cleaner, safer, chemical-free food options. "Very simply, we subsidize high-fructose corn syrup in this country, but not carrots. While the surgeon general is raising alarms over the epidemic of obesity, the president is signing farm bills designed to keep the river of cheap corn flowing, guaranteeing that the cheapest calories in the supermarket will continue to be the unhealthiest."

He certainly poised good questions about why it is that we will spend premium amounts of money on cars or clothes or TVs to get the best on the market, but when it comes to food we search for convenience and cheap, and this is the probably the singular choice we make for our health three or more times a day, every day of our lives. I completely see the point of his argument that we need to take what we eat as seriously as we do other aspects of our lives, and that convenience and expectation of low prices have clouded our vision of what eating should be.

So I'm trying to follow his simple plan to smarter, better living: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

What I've Watched: Sherlock Holmes

A Campbell family Christmas tradition is to go check out movies. It started many moons ago and continues to this day, and it's always fun to talk to my mom and plot which movies we shall conquer during my stint back in Louisville. First up, Sherlock Holmes with the always-cool Robert Downey, Jr.

There was little doubt we were going to see this one. For one thing, it looked like a cool movie. Second, my mom has loved Robert Downey, Jr. since time began. She thought he was hot stuff all the way back when he was in Chances Are. I saw enough of his movies as a kid to convince myself that, for a time, being like him would be good. Except, you know, for the whole debilitating substance abuse problem. Glad I went a different direction.

Anyway, thankfully Downey, Jr. has made a nice little comeback in recent years, and along with looking forward to the kick-ass looking Iron Man 2, I was interested in seeing how this movie turned out. This is mainly because, with mom's heavy hand, I ended up watching a good deal of Sherlock Holmes movies as a child and even read a few of the novels as I grew up and figured out that reading was a good thing to do. Especially influential was watching Young Sherlock Holmes, a guilty pleasure movie if there ever was one for me. It's not the greatest thing ever made, but it was actually the first film to ever use CGI (yeah, look it up). So at least I can have a guilty pleasure movie that has some historical significance.

Pairing Downey, Jr. with a classic character like Holmes and you've got a movie I will see. And it's a lot of fun. Not an Oscar winner or anything, but a fun movie. Downey, Jr. does a solid job as the eclectic detective, and brings a witty charm and grit to the character that stands in contrast with the usual stuffy, older English types that portray the character. Jude Law is even passable as Watson, and he's not an actor I particularly enjoy watching. But here as Watson he does a decent job being cool. Rachel McAdams is the wet blanket of the movie. It is another thankless role for a female in a male-dominated film, and someone had to play the part. The dude who plays the bad guy and several of the other bit players do their job and keep the scenes interesting.

What I think the movie does best is make the puzzles and intricacies of solving the crimes much more interesting. Shows that fancy gadgets and techno-wizardry doesn't always have to solve every problem. Instead using your wits and actually showing that to the viewer and explaining it can make it very fun for the audience. I say check it out and enjoy the fun.

Friday Funnies XVI

Merry Christmas everyone, and I know no better way to celebrate it than to share a clip from my family's favorite holiday movie.

Idiot of the Day VII

To the person, or persons, who work at the SunTrust Bank branch on Georgia Avenue up near my house. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that replacing that lightbulb might just be a good idea if you are hoping to retain customers and not give off the impression that you are a shady financial institution.

My Childhood, Bastardized

The fun never stops in Hollywood, at least when it comes to killing my childhood. I had heard about this remake awhile back, but somehow thought nothing of it when I never heard further and thought maybe, just maybe, the studio people had figured out that remaking a movie that was a definitive 80s classic and one of the best sports movies ever would be a gigantic mistake. Clearly they are still insane, because while I was surfing around the interwebs' tubes and pipes, I discovered the newly released trailer.

For The Karate Kid movie. Yeah, the new one.

And can I just say to the studio people who made it: Fuck you, and I'm never seeing this movie. Thanks, you're a wonderful crowd.

Young Elisabeth Shue, the creepy homo-erotic tension between Myagi and LaRusso that has been dissected ad nauseum. "Put him in a body bag! Yeah!" Sweeping the leg. The Cobra Kai. Sensei John Crease. The living legend of movie bad guys, Billy Zabka. This is a list that truly defines a movie's greatness, and some of those things you just can't make exceptions on. Especially Zabka, who has never failed to be one of the worst actors ever but always delivers when it comes to needing a take-it-to-11 kind of bad guy.

Take a look at the trailer for the remake:

What the hell is that? I'm pretty sure that isn't the karate my buddy Luke learned when he had a mullet and won trophies and got photos taken (all of which his mom still keeps up in his house ... brilliant). Plus, what kind of Cobra Kai is it when you have budding ninjas kicking ass? The Cobra Kai needs to be a bunch of WASPy kids training in a strip mall storefront, not learning the finer points of martial arts in China (like the one I'm sure Kelly trained in when he was becoming a 7th-degree blackbelt or whatever the hell he is). I call bullshit. Plus, it's hard to work in an Elisabeth Shue wannabe when the LaRusso character is being played by a 12-year-old. Oh, and did you notice that the kid is Will Smith's child? Fucking hell, that guy is moving up my shit list quick. It's bad enough he stopped making any movie worth watching, now he's passing the legacy onto his kid. And don't even get me started about how we're gonna get some Will Smith inspirational hip hop instead of what the original movie had for music:



That is classic stuff. Shame on you, Hollywood, for bastardizing my childhood and confirming once again how little creativity you all have to try and make original movies.

Game On: Week of Dec. 10

Here is my column this week (with a special nod to Kelly). The games I reviewed were Assassin's Creed II and Left 4 Dead 2.

Playoffs? Play..Playoffs?!?!

Yes, if you've never seen Jim Mora's rant (yeah, he was a real head coach in the NFL, scary), then make sure you check it out. He might have been just a tad crazy.

Well, it's time for the playoffs ... in fantasy football. If you don't know what fantasy football is (and I had to explain it to my mother, bless her heart), then I don't know what to do with you. Just know, it involves football, your friends and gambling. How could it possibly go wrong?

And you need to understand something, I put a little pressure on myself this season. You see, I won BOTH my leagues last year. That's right, I kick ass. Two leagues, two championships. And considering how terrible I used to be at fantasy football, this was a shock to just about everyone in the leagues, and it really pissed Kelly off since he takes this a little serious. Furthermore, you should know that I am so dedicated to this stuff that I have been writing a weekly column for one of my leagues for about 4 years straight. Yeah, I'm a dork, and I'm fine with it.

At the beginning of this season, I was in the rush of a super crazy work schedule, and before I knew it, I was saying yes to everyone, and suddenly I had agreed to be not in the normal two but 5 (FIVE?!?!?!?!?!) fantasy football leagues. I must have been drugged by someone.

Undeterred, I went forth and did my best. The two main leagues I took seriously, and the others I gave it the old college try. And sure enough, I made the fucking playoffs in all five. That's right technology and rivals, suck it. I am not the best team in all the leagues, by any means, but I've made the playoffs and that is all that matters. I just can't believe I did it. Big pat on the back for me. Yes, congrats for me for being such a dork.

My Childhood, Bastardized (OK, not really)

I've not shied away from complaining to anyone who will listen that Hollywood just never ceases to try and re-imagine, reboot and retool every damn thing they can if it means they don't have to use a creative bone in their collective body.

For those of you who don't know, they're at it again ... this time rebooting the tale of Robin Hood. Now, I say they aren't really bastardizing my childhood because while I enjoyed the cartoon version immensely as a kid (name me a 6-year-old boy that didn't want to be cool hero who used shot arrows and won the girl!), it's not like it's canon by any stretch. Nor is the Errol Flynn version or the 35 other takes I think exist. Oh, and I loved the Mel Brooks parody. Good stuff. And while I did enjoy parts of the Kevin Costner film (except the poor editing and the moment about 13 minutes into the movie when he suddenly ditches the piece of shit English accent altogether and is suddenly Field of Dreams guy in an English woodsman outfit), it left a lot to be desired.

So now we are getting yet another version of Robin Hood. And damn if this one don't look a wee more violent than the previous ones. Russell Crowe is now the title character, and we've even got one of my favorites Cate Blanchett playing Maid Marian. But judging by the first trailer that has been released, it's a bit darker than the light-hearted fare that always has a touch of humor and such that we've come to expect.



Nothing against it, and it could be good. But let's remember how much fun this franchise used to be.

Man Card Member, No. 404431, Issue 5

It's long overdue, but I have to at least share the belovedness of the turkey I smoked for Thanksgiving. I wasn't going to talk about it, but Kristin did say that I didn't shut up about how proud I was of myself for about three days at work afterward, so I'm going to post it anyhow. So as you can see, my turkey rocked. And there is nothing manlier than properly smoking meat for 4 hours and getting rave reviews from a household full of friends about how much it kicked ass.

Friday Funnies XV

I'm a sucker for animal humor. Will Ferrell wrestles a bear or a cougar, and I am there. Someone leaves a tiger in a hotel bathroom, and I am laughing it up. And while I am normally under the impression that beer commercials are stupid, this one gets me every damn time. And as a white poodle owner, I'm proud to think my dog could pull this off.

Idiot of the Day VI

So I went to the grocery store the other night, and when I parked, I noticed a guy who looked a little weird, almost like he was casing this BMW in two spots away from me. I thought nothing of it, went in and bought my stuff, then came back out. When I came back, I saw the dude was still there, but he wasn't actually casing the car ... he was buffing it.

Yeah, buffing the damn thing. At 7:30 at night. In a grocery store parking. Oh, and one other thing ...

It was fucking raining.

Hey, dipshit, that isn't ArmorAll falling from the sky. That's fucking rain. So when you buff that spot out then see 20 drops right in the place you buffed, buffing it again isn't going to help. I must have watched this guy do this dance for about 6 minutes before I threw my hands up and left. He was circling his car constantly cleaning it. In the rain. I know jack shit about cars, so maybe this is some eco-friendly way of car waxing, but I'm doubting it. Plus, he doesn't LIVE at the damned grocery store, so he's got to get back in the car and drive home. In the rain. With other cars. Whatever, he's an idiot.

Friday Funnies XIV

OK, so I've been watching a lot of Penn & Teller's Bullshit show on Showtime lately. I like magic tricks (but not the stupid Chris Angel and David Copperfield kind), especially card tricks and fun sleight of hand ones. Well, this show is more about them pointing out things in society that they think are stupid. Sometimes I agree with them, sometimes I don't. But in one episode, they talked about people who believe waaaaaaay toooooo much in the power of dolphins. Oh yes, dolphins. Watch this whole thing (it's worth it), and tell me this woman isn't on massive amounts of LSD on a daily basis. By the way, you'll want to watch part 3 of that episode to see how the lady's career advice went from the dolphin lady.

Idiot of the Day V

Aren't I a nice guy? I gave this idiot a break by blotting out his eyes so no one knows who he is. Plus, I will probably go back to this place at some point, so I don't want to get beat up.

But nevertheless, this guy is an idiot. He was a bartender Sunday when me and the fellas watched some NFL football. I could not help but laugh at this bartender and his getup. Dude was wearing a tie tucked into his white button-down shirt. Innocent enough I suppose, except that it's Sunday and you're working behind a fucking bar serving drinks to hungover and rowdy football fans like myself. None of us give a shit if your shirt is Calvin Klein or Jacques Penney. But the thing that really got me was he was kicking an arm band (like a tennis player) and equipped it with a bottle opener, a few pens and his pride.

Dude, you're not Tom fucking Cruise and this ain't Kokomo. You're working a sports bar in downtown DC. Elizabeth Shue ain't walking through that door anytime soon. But good luck to you, and I'll see you Sunday.

Equanimity, Part 4

I have not been able to follow up soon enough to the earlier series of posts on equanimity, but you can find them earlier this month. What it came down to was a weeklong series of events that were just crazy in the amount of hours I was working and the elation of getting to celebrate my organization's 30th anniversary and also take in other things.

On the evening of Oct. 30, CFED held its 30th anniversary gala at the National Building Museum. Gloria Steinem was our honorary host, and I'm summing all of this up too quickly but it was an amazing event and such a culmination of a lot of hard work. Kristin busted her ass and put together a wonderful video that tells three stories highlighting the kind of work we do. Take 10 minutes and check it out.


The video was a hit, Steinem made some great jokes and a wonderful set of speeches, and the night was capped off by an awards ceremony and then a moving speech by Bob Friedman, our founder. I cannot do justice to Bob in saying how motivating and caring Bob is about CFED and the people we help. He's an amazing leader, and paired with Andrea our president, they make an amazing duo of leadership that makes me proud to go to work every day.

We got to have a champagne toast at the end of the evening, and of course, you can tell by the photo at the top that my friends and I looked damn fine, if I do say so myself. I decided to go with the Johnny Cash look for the event, black suit, black shirt, black tie. I created a flash slideshow of the evening in pictures, so go check that out as well.

Friday Funnies XIII

It's Thanksgiving, so of course this edition of the Friday Funnies has to involve the holiday. And what better way than to play the hilarious faux trailer from Grindhouse. I know I've featured it on here before, but damn if it doesn't make me laugh every time. "White meat, dark meat, all will be carved." Laughing just typing it out.

My Childhood, Bastardized

One of my favorite movies of all time is Clash of the Titans. I don't think I ever missed it when it was on TV. It's a true classic, and underrated in terms of all-time fun movies to watch. Seriously, people, Harry Hamlin was bare chested throughout the whole damn thing, and he has a confused look on his face to match that tuft on his chest. Hilarious stuff. Then you throw in Burgess Meredith as a sidekick, Ursula Andress as Aprhodite and Laurence Olivier as Zeus, and you have got yourself some crazy cameos in a movie normally given short shrift.

The biggest addition to my life given to me by this movie was of course ... The Kraken. I have always loved the great line from the movie, "How can a mortal man face, and defeat, the Kraken." I've used that line a ton of times throughout my life, and Luke, Eric and others have all shared in the joy of the Kraken as well. We've even gone so far as to never order calamari from a restaurant but, in fact, order Kraken off the menu. Good times.

Well, because Hollywood would sooner burn itself to the ground before coming up with an original idea, they have remade one of my favorite movies. No doubt I will give it its due and see how it turns out, but it looks like a '300' wannabe. But it's got a helluva cast behind it, so they must be taking it seriously. Below are the two trailers. I still think the original is just pure comedy gold.

The original:

The remake:

The Muppets. Good Stuff.

I love the Muppets. I loved them growing up, and they stand the test of time. And even in my older years, they still make me laugh and bring enjoyment to my days. Really, what other entertainment act satisfies and gets people of all age groups such happiness? I want to know, because in talking to others about it, we can't come up with any the even come close. The Simpsons is not bad, but even they have not had the staying power of the Muppets. If you are one of the few who have not seen this yet, make sure you watch it. Good stuff.

Idiot of the Day IV

So when I was traveling back to DC from Miami a couple weeks' back, we arrived at Miami International Airport, also known as useless place to travel from. The airport is obviously much easier to travel from than say, Fort Lauderdale, but that is not saying much. Today's Idiot of the Day lesson is directed at not one, but actually all of these morons in the check-in line.

You see, when we showed up, there were 5 working kiosks, no one at them, and no United employees working behind the counter. So we stood at the back of the line for about two minutes and then realized, unlike the other 30 people in line, that reps from United weren't coming to the counter. Not that hour. Not that day. Probably not ever.

So instead of just waiting for the slow moment of death to arrive, I said fuck all and told the wife to walk around the group and just walk up to the kiosk and get our boarding passes. Everyone stared in awe as she did just that. And after two minutes she came back, we picked up our bags and walked away. In true classy idiot style, everyone didn't move and take our lead. They just kept on standing still. I'm glad none of those idiots was my pilot.

Giving Back. Kinda.

This is a response to my boy Kelly, who had a similar post on his blog. I can't let him go off about being all good to society without sneaking in a pat on the back for myself.

So over the weekend I played in a golf scramble with Dboy, Dr. Dan and Dave (who doesn't have a nickname yet because he's just a dork and doesn't deserve one yet). It was your typical Turkey Shoot, which just about every damn golf course in America does around Thanksgiving. We played like crap early and rebounded stronger on the back nine, but a couple of the other teams had clear ringers so it's not like we ever had a chance of winning. I mean, seriously, Dave noticed a guy on one team who is the head pro at a local course. I'm not going to judge (OK, let's judge) but who the hell bothers to bring in pros to a local golf scramble where the biggest prize is a $50 gift certificate to Modell's Sporting Goods?

Anyway, as part of the proceedings I ended up getting two free turkeys. Since we had already bought ours at the farmers market for our Turkey Day festivities, I suddenly had two 14-pound birds in need of a home. After some brief research (and the realization that these damn birds wouldn't fit in the freezer), we found a good home for them ... the DC Central Kitchen. They are a fantastic organization that not just combats hunger by feeding people, but instead tries to instill positive change and also teach job skills to its clients to help break the poverty cycle. So they got nearly 30 pounds of free turkey from me on Sunday, which was cool. I'm happy to have helped out and played a little part in the 'giving thanks' part of the holiday season.

What I've Read: The Spire

This is another of the really, really few fiction authors that I will spend my time on. The first book of his I read was Degree of Guilt. And honestly, it wasn't like it came recommended or anything. Nope ... back in the day, I was needing a book for a flight, and the cover intrigued me. Then I read the back and it had to do with a reporter and a trial, and I thought, what the hell? Little did I know that I was gleefully jumping into a whole world of intertwining characters and compelling court cases that would have me thinking about all the issues I enjoy contemplating.

What I really love about his novels is that he pairs a trial case with a particular social issue he finds worthwhile. One book is about gun control. Another is about a woman being nominated to be chief justice of the Supreme Court. Another is about abortion rights. He deftly weaves in realistic social causes with well thought-out court cases. He puts that hack John Grisham to shame, yessir.

The Spire is his latest, and it lacks some of the spirit his previous ones had. After two departures from his normal work (Eclipse and Exile), I thought maybe he was taking on more global issues with his work. He mainly partook in American political affairs, but after those two global-themed tomes he returned to quieter subject matter. The Spire is just about a lawyer who is asked to be president of his alma mater. As normal, things are not what they seem. But instead of being a shoot-em-up or some medical thriller, instead in typical Patterson fashion, he delves into the more psychological fare.

It was great to read his newest, and I wish it had been stronger. It just drug on at parts, and didn't have the depth of characters all the way around that he is used to churning out. Hopefully he won't take as long to put out a new one book and that he'll return to the form I know him well to providing. But for now, it's back to the nonfiction.

Game On: Week of Nov. 12

Here is my column from a couple weeks ago, for those who are in the know. Games I reviewed were Tekken 6, LEGO Rock Band and Mario & Sonic at the Winter Games.

What I've Read: Night of Thunder

I love vacations. It means I can, hopefully, create for myself a lot of free time to read and read and read. I love active vacations, but I need them to also include some simple chill-out time. Time to relax and get sucked into something fun. And since I have all but sworn off reading fiction, it is always helpful for a vacation to come along when I can stop everything and blow through the latest novels from the few writers I enjoy. So when I was down in Miami and Big Pine Key for a week, with Hurricane Ida kickin it off the coast, the sunshine was minimal and allowed me to relax and bust through some books.

Reading Stephen Hunter's novels are not something I came to all by myself. I must give credit to my buddy Gerry, who about 8 years ago suggested I read this book he had called The Day Before Midnight. It was bad-ass, let me tell you. I didn't have any preconceptions coming into it, and I loved every minute of reading it. I then went to the bookstore and bought up just about everything he wrote and blew through it all in a matter of weeks. Now, whenever Hunter releases a new book, it's pretty much guaranteed that I am checking it out.

Hunter is a film critic for the Washington Post. Most of the time, I hate his movie reviews. I may enjoy his novels, but he and I see film completely different on most occasions so I tend to avoid his columns at all cost. But within the novel world, he gets plenty of my attention.

Most of his novels surround an awesome character named Bob Lee Swagger. A former marine sniper, Swagger is your typical, "Don't fuck with me or my family" kind of guy. Sadly, everyone who is a bad guy tries to fuck with him and his family, so vengeance must be paid. What I have always loved about the Swagger series is how technical they are about gunnery and all matter of bullet calibers and what they do. I hate guns, and most people know this, but I do love a shooting video game and some books about guys exacting revenge. In real life, not so much, but I'll take the fiction versions just fine.

What sucks after 9 or so novels about the same man and his family is that, eventually, guys get older. Swagger is now an older fellow, but he still has the ability to whip some ass. It's just sad seeing characters age like this, because it's fiction damnit and I want what I want. Plus, Hunter has eluded to about a million other side stories and other life events that instead of writing about how Swagger's hip hurts all the time and he's not as nimble and all that jazz ... hey, how about writing a book about all those crazy missions you keep referring to? Ugh, so frustrating.

Anyway, Night of Thunder was not my favorite, if only because the main narrative centered around a NASCAR event, and if there is anything I hate more than guns, it is NASCAR, and they are not mutually exclusive. So this was not the best setting for me to enjoy a good Bob Lee Swagger tale. Luckily the book was still filled with classic Swagger moments and one-liners, enough to keep me anticipating the next book that comes down the line.

Game On: Week of Oct. 30

Here is my Halloween-themed column from a week or so back. Games reviewed were Borderlands, Saw and Ju-on: The Grudge. Thanks to TCPalm.com for publishing.

Damn, That Girl Is Crazy

I've played a lot of soccer in my life. I even reffed games in college. I can say that in all my life of watching an assload of soccer, I have never seen anything like this. I have friends who think soccer is a bunch of wimps and fakers and crybabies, but I've seen just as much of that in the NFL and NBA as any other sport. But this is real, and this is dangerous. This bitch was out to hurt people and in any sport that is totally uncool. And if you read up on the story, her official comments and apologies are a bunch of bullshit.

Friday Funnies XII

I never watch Dancing With the Stars, thank goodness. Looks like the most miserable thing ever. Also, I didn't ever watch whatever show this Melissa Joan Hart girl was on. All I know is that apparently she played a witch of some sort, it was a long time ago, and the girl ain't done shit since. How do I know this? Because Jimmy Kimmel reminded everyone who was watching (and then saw the clip online, like me). Fast forward to the 50-second mark for the goods. Once again, don't think you can school a professional comic. They're gonna get you.

Still Damn Funny (some more)

I know I've said it a bunch of times here before, but you need to be watching The Office, people. It's rounding back into some seriously funny form again. Two weeks ago was an episode called The Lover, and I was in hysterics much of the time. Anyway, here is a deleted scene that should have been included and continues Pam being pissed about Michael's new girlfriend.

Equanimity, Part 3

So last Thursday was a real doozy of a day. Started early with CFED's first Innovation Summit. We put on this daylong conference that was very nontraditional, at least as conferences go. We had a comedian open things up, who was pretty damn funny. She's won Best College Comic in DC by the DC Improv and City Paper the last two years, and since she is the friend of our president's daughter, we got her to do a 10-minute bit to liven up the crowd. Problem is, sometimes nonprofits and their partners are serious people who don't quite get that a comic is supposed to challenge your perceptions and make you sometimes laugh at things you may not think are that funny. Well, whatever, screm em, she was funny even if half the room didn't get the jokes (of course, maybe throwing a comic out on stage at 9 a.m. was maybe a bit jarring for people also).

Wow, that went on for a bit. Maybe I should take a few moments to compose myself.

OK, back to the Summit. Like I said, it was nontraditional. Beyond the comic, there were lots of video presentations and instead of everyone having hour-long meetings in crappy hotel conference spaces, we held the event at Sidney Harman Hall, which is this swanky theater space. So all the meetings were held at stations around the Hall, and everyone really seemed to dig it. Made the proceedings much more interactive and free-flowing. I hope you all will take a few minutes to watch our introductory video, which highlighted our Innovators-in-Residence and Innovative Champions. The image at the top goes to the video.

We got a lot of positive feedback from the event and I think we will be incorporating elements of this event into our future convenings. I didn't get to stay at the Summit for the whole thing, though, because I was busy helping Kristin get everything ready for that evening's 30th Anniversary Gala. Oh yeah, we started early and we went late into the night.

Equanimity, Part 2

So the beginning of my equanimities began on Wednesday last week. At CFED, we take our board of directors meetings very seriously. I guess all nonprofits do, maybe, but since this is the only one I have ever worked for, it was wild when I first noticed how crazy everyone got with these meetings. Some people just want us to look as professional and legit as possible, others go into massive ass-kissing mode and suck up to everyone in the room.

I got to hang out during a couple sessions of the board meeting (normally not open to general staff like myself), and I very much enjoyed it. It's amazing to sit and listen to a bunch of super-smart people (some who are pictured at right and a few that are even close to my age, which makes me feel like a total moron) discuss the strategies and potential for my organization. Luckily none of it involved getting rid of their lone graphic designer. But getting to be in that room definitely made me feel just that much more connected to the future of our work and with the people and organizations we help.

My whole reason for getting to be in the room was because I was the photo bitch for the day. Turns out people like my little hobby and think I'm decent at it enough to warrant getting to take photos of nearly everything we do, which does allow me the chance to leave the office now and then (not normal for a designer). After the board meeting was over, the fun didn't end because I was tasked to take photos during the VIP dinner we hosted in the office. It was a late night of schmoozing, eating and a few drinks, though not as many as I would have liked. We got a cool preview of the next day's festivities, which I will inform you about in the next post. But I didn't get home until uber-late having to clean up and get the office back to normal, and then it was up early for a really long day ...

Equanimity, Part 1

Main Entry: equa·nim·i·ty
Pronunciation: \ˌē-kwə-ˈni-mə-tē, ˌe-kwə-\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural equa·nim·i·ties
Etymology: Latin aequanimitas, from aequo animo with even mind
Date: circa 1616
1 : evenness of mind especially under stress
2 : right disposition : balance

Among the jobs I do at CFED besides graphic design, I also run the bi-weekly staff meetings (my soothing, radio-like voice brings comfort to the masses when we discuss work). To add some goofiness to the proceedings, my friends Kristin and Leigh give me a particularly odd word that I must work into the meeting at some point. Monday, after a crazy and uber-busy week, during a recap of a lot of CFED events, the word I had to use was equanimity. I used it to describe Kristin during all of last week, but for my purposes I am going to apply it to myself as well.

Last week I got a ton of shit done. And most of it was a culmination of months and months of tribulation and hard work by myself and a whole crew of people at CFED. The main events started last Wednesday and finished off on Friday. Upcoming will be my tales of those days and nights and how it drove us all crazy, but in the end our collective equanimity ruled the day.

For Fox Sake

Just had to share with everyone last week's segment from The Daily Show where Jon thoroughly dissects the ignorance and stupidity that is Fox Opinion ... News ... whatever.

Idiot of the Day III

I am late posting this, but it's worth it. Last Sunday was bad for me in football. I watch the Sunday NFL games with my friends, and we go to this cool bar that has good food and drink specials and no, I am not telling anyone which bar it is because for the time being it's relatively empty and we have the run of the place.

Last Sunday was a bad one, though, because my Bears got thrashed by the Bengals, and nearly all my friends root for the Bengals, which meant I got made fun of a lot before I ducked my head and made my way to the exit in shame. Though I was not nearly as in shame as this guy was. Why you ask? Because he several times he loudly and very strongly ordered a "cranberry and orange juice" from the bar. FROM THE BAR!

Order it from the server if you really need to, but who the hell goes to watch football and orders a nonalcoholic fruit drink? And announcing it prominently in front of other dudes, and who is sitting alone no less? Someone who wears a Romo jersey in DC I guess.

Happy Halloween, I Guess

I am not a fan of Halloween. Never have been. I dressed up when I was a kid, but I never really enjoyed it and I don't miss it at all. I think a lot of it stems from not really enjoying candy at all (which must make Kelly's head spin, considering the debates he has with himself over candy consumption). I don't have a sweet tooth, so I just appreciate the quiet, hanging out at home and avoiding drunk drivers and women in their 30s dressing like they are 14 and thinking its attractive.

So what did I do for Halloween? I guess you can say I dressed up and played the role of chef. I smoked two racks of ribs Jamaican Jerk style and ate them until I fell into a nice, spicy coma. I'll take that over a grown man dressed like Gumby throwing up on the street anytime.

Friday Funnies XI

I am going to see the lovely and wonderful Cate Blanchett tonight at the Kennedy Center in A Streetcar Named Desire. Looking forward to it indeed. In honor of seeing her tonight, here is a good clip of her in one of my favorite movies, Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

Idiot of the Day II

When I left work Friday night, a cop car was flashing its lights across the street in front of Macy's. I thought nothing of it, because cops at Macy's is not a special occasion. As I started walking, though, I noticed something rather strange. There was a wheel on the sidewalk. Not a tire, mind you, a whole damn wheel.

Some idiot lost his wheel. I laughed. And then I walked away. If you're losing an entire wheel on your ride (which, by the way, looks a lot like OJ's truck) you've probably got bigger problems. Maybe it was OJ, in which case that makes a lot of sense.

Friday Funnies X

I grew up on Chevy Chase movies. Whether they are good or bad in your opinion, in my family they are comic gold. So for this instance of the Friday Funnies, we are going to look back at one of the best scenes from Spies Like Us. "Stop right there, and I'll bring back the sun." I used that to avoid a fight once.

Dboy in a Starring Role

One of the things about my friend Douglass is that he is un-abashedly pro-American. It's great, we all love making fun of him for it, but he stands by it and that makes it that much more enjoyable. Kelly and I often call him Captain America. So it's no surprise that he is thrilled that they are finally making a movie from the character after all these years of the comic book movie renaissance. It's all leading up to The Avengers movie which should get me and a whole slew of comic book nerds all sorts of excited. Sadly we have to wait until 2011 for the Captain America movie to be released, which leaves us plenty of time to keep making fun of Dboy. In the meantime, let us all enjoy these two trailers from not one, but two TV movies. Love the hair. I'm gonna get Douglass one of those shields. Or the mask at the least. He'd wear it in public, no doubt.

Game On: Week of Oct. 15

Here is last week's Game On column, courtesy of the Oakland Daily Tribune. Games reviewed are Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days and Gran Turismo.

Friday Funnies IX

Sorry I missed last week. I thought I had posted it and then someone was kind enough to point out that their Friday dose of humor was missing. This week I am giving a couple deleted clips from last week's The Office, where Jim and Pam got married. Creed may be the most underrated talent on that show.

Blog Action Day: Miss Out?

Hey, don't be upset if you missed out on Blog Action Day (and if you are not, shame on you). There are always other opportunities to make a difference. Next week there is an International Day of Climate Action, so go over and check it out and take part. If you need some other ideas or inspiration, this page over at Live Earth has some basic tips that even my mother could understand and take action on. So the rest of you have no excuse. And you know I won't stop shaming my mother to make herself more green, and challenging myself to do the same.

Blog Action Day: Good Links

Here are some links to cool articles and stuff out there that help get the message across and get you edubacated, as Dr. Zehnder (my high school econ teacher) would say.

• 10 Solutions for Climate Change


• Some facts and figures (for you research, number geeks


• List of 100 things you love that global warming is going to mess up in our lives


• NBC's Green is Universal site has some corny stuff on there, but also some nice quick tips and tricks.


• I am a big Planet Green TV watcher, and their website is chock full o nuts, I mean, solutions.

By all means, this is just a light smattering of good resources and sites I know of (Treehugger and others are out there), but if you know of some good sites to check out, share them with me and I will pass them along.

Blog Action Day

So today is Blog Action Day, and it's focused on one of my big topics that I write about, climate change. This is a cool global event where bloggers all over the world are out to share info about climate change and things you can do locally, or in your home or office or wherever, to get others inspired to make a change and make a difference. Here's the intro video to give you an idea.

Man Card Member, No. 404431, Issue 4

I, have made fire. And I didn't need to make weird man-love to a volleyball to do it, either. The fireplace in the new house is kinda small so it takes some work with the low airflow to get a proper conflagration going, but I got skills people. Need proof? I even shot a quick video of the fire to prove it's not some fluke.

Game On: Week of Oct. 8

Here is my column from last week, courtesy of our friends from TCPalm.com. Games reviewed are Halo 3: ODST and Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2.

When PR Companies Go Crazy

Video games companies send me all sorts of stuff to help promote their products, and I enjoy it. Sometimes it's cool stuff like a well-designed T-shirt or some funky toy that I'll keep on my desk. Most of the time, it's stuff that I think is neat but I have no use for, like a Mario Bros. backpack clearly designed for a kid. This is where my coworkers benefit greatly from me being the nice guy that I am. Because I always take the schwag and dole it out to the parents in the office whose kids would probably love some free toys and crap that a guy in his 30s has no need of.

This week I got a huge wooden crate (at right) delivered to my office. I was a tad perplexed, but not shocked. Some of my favorite gifts ever from PR companies have come in bizarre containers. I have a viking hat, I once got a metal-forged spartan battle helmet, a wooden sword, all sorts of fun stuff.

I was unsure what the box contained until Kristin helped me bust the thing open. The box clearly says it contains small items, but who knows what kind of tricks they were playing. At first I reached in and pulled out a small stuffed animal.

And then another.

And another.

And ... well, you get the picture. It was a lot.

In the end, half the box was empty, and the other half had a video game and 11, yes ELEVEN, stuffed animals that were all in various shapes but were round and silly looking. The game is called Squeeballs Party, and I have no idea how good it will be, but the name is goofy enough and the stuffed animals are all comical looking. Now, other than being one of those stupid women who stuff their car with beanie babies, I really had no use for 11 oddly designed stuffed animals. Kristin and I did enjoy chucking them at Laura, but we needed a better plan. And then it hit me ... we'll just coyly "decorate" our friend Leigh's office with them. So we hid them in desk drawers, under hats, behind office plants, anywhere we could put them to surprise her when she got back from a trip. And it worked. She naturally knew I was behind the squeeballs attack since no one else gets bizarre stuff like this in the office, but it worked and gave her a good giggle, which made it worth it for sure. And at least she didn't react like this guy below did, who may need to switch to decaf.

Idiot of the Day

I don't want to have to point out idiots I come across, but sometimes they just call out to me and need to be put in their place. This idiot was on the train with me last night as I was coming home from work. The train was rather full because late at night Metro runs fewer trains, but the jackass decided it mattered none to him. Prime standing and seating space were taken up because Idiot here chucked his suitcase and his briefcase all over the floor of the train. One woman asked him to kindly make some space, and instead he added dbag and became Idiot DBag by ignoring her and then going back to reading his copy of DBag Report. I also just looooove the unbuttoned shirt that shows off the old man tuft on his chest. Classy, dude, classy. He was not a local because he kept getting up all the time to check out the Metro map and make sure he didn't miss his stop. I really wish he had.

Game On: Week of Oct. 2

My column from last week, brought to you by the good people at GoErie.com. Games I reviewed were Scribblenauts, Wet and Need for Speed: Shift.

Man Card Member, No. 404431, Issue 3

I am man. I stack wood.

Probably would have been cooler if I had cut the wood Paul Bunyan style, but that wasn't an option. I have no forest nor do I own an axe (well, I do now but, aww, forget it). We paid some people to drop off a ton of wood and so I spent some time last weekend hauling it from one place to the next. One place being the driveway, next being under the deck.

Never having stacked wood before, I think I did a mighty fine job, making a couple nice working piles and further cementing my belief that my mom and I could totally kick some ass on the Amazing Race (the 1:20 mark gives you an idea of how we would have conquered Siberia).

My Work Gets in Times Square

CFED (the place I work) last week released its 2009-2010 Assets & Opportunity Scorecard. This project is nearly 10 months of work organization-wide that I, of course, had to design in about 7 weeks. Which is pretty much why my family and friends think I'm an ass who never returns calls, e-mails or anything social all summer long. This massive report is a big deal for us and we take is seriously, so when we released it and then held a 2-day conference here in DC to support it, by the time it ended we were all hammered on state-level data.

I certainly encourage all 8 of your who read this blog to check out the information on your state. You'll be impressed with how detail-oriented and data-driven we are in making assessments of a state's vitality and how well it supports its residents. Sadly, my home state of Kentucky went backwards from our 2007-2008 Scorecard. Ouch.

As part of getting out the message on the Scorecard, we worked with a media company to get an add placed in Times Square. I didn't have much time to design it and we wanted to make sure it was clear and simple for people to read, but I am proud of it nonetheless, because screw it, I made an ad that was shown in Times Square! I'll take it, thank you very much.

Friday Funnies VIII

I am an unabashed fan of the Coen brothers movies. And despite all of their recent successes, it is still one of the early films that I consider their best. Raising Arizona is a classic, and probably one of my top 5 favorite comedies ever created. Here is one of the best scenes, featuring Glen and Dot. Love the Mordacai line and Dot talking about getting the DipTet. Just fantastic stuff. "This whole thing is just who knows who ... and, uh, over here you have favoritism."

Game On: Week of Sept. 25

My column from last week, courtesy of GoErie.com. The games I reviewed were Dirt 2 and Muramasa: The Demon Blade. With a special nod to my former coworker Paul.

Me, For the Rest of the Week

It's been a rough week at work, and today I got some news that made me severely unhappy. So for the rest of the week at least, this is my opinion of things.

What I've Read: God is Not Great

I know the exact moment when it happened. The specific moment in my life when my belief in religion and god and all that came to a stark and sudden end and it was never to come back.

I admit that my questioning of religion and whatnot had been happening prior to this moment, and my faith certainly had been tested long before it. But once it stopped it was gone and it ain't coming back.

I'd like to say that I miss it, but I don't. Not one bit. In fact, I'm glad it's gone because I've found that it did nothing but get in the way. It got in the way of my better understanding and questioning and viewing of the world around me. Religion got in the way of how I viewed social issues, cultural issues, political issues, life issues, science issues, so much stuff that religion clouded for purely stupid and illogical reasons.

Luckily Christopher Hitchens' book was not what turned me. I didn't need this book, nor was it some book that I read in a weakened condition that I'll believe one week and in a couple months change my opinion again back to religion. I felt and thought a lot of these things well before I read his tome on why, as he puts it, "religion poisons everything." I don't subscribe so harshly to his statement there, but I don't discount it, either. His book did crystalize a lot of my thinking and helped give me some additional context and reasoning behind my thoughts. I didn't approach the book as giving me ammunition against religion or anything of the sort. I could just as easily kept living my life and not be chastised by two people on the train on separate occasions that I was "going to hell" just for reading the book (good luck with that whole heaven thing, assholes).

All I know is that religion makes no sense to me. Believe in it if you wish. Doesn't matter to me. I'm not going to attempt to convert you to my thoughts just as I don't think any religious person should bother wasting their time trying to convert me. Those Jehovah's Witnesses that keep coming by every weekend morning to my door, peddle your wares elsewhere. I have my thoughts on religion and I am always willing to discuss them with those who want the discussion. Hitchens' book did give me some other works to pick up and read, and I shall check them out in due time. I've got a long list of books I need to tackle first, though, and I can't spend all my time reading why I shouldn't believe in organized religion when I already don't.

Looking back now it's funny to remember the things I used to argue about. I used to get chappy when people said "god damnit" as if I was somehow going to be punished as well. I used to get into arguments with Dan and Luke in college about god and Catholicism and what I felt was right and wrong. I went to a Catholic grade school and an all-male Catholic high school, where obviously the religious views are rather firm. I still care deeply about my high school but I don't agree with the things it teaches. I still got a damn good education there (even if I was a journalism student, and we all know how good a future-employment decision that was). I'm not disavowing my younger years. I just think I have moved past that now and strive to better myself and not feel limited and held back by what religion offers. I once got all excited when my girlfriend was baptized in college as a Catholic, like it somehow made me a better person. My Catholicism had me convinced I was supposed to believe and defend all sorts of crazy shit, and I'm glad that I personally came about-face on it and got some more information before I continued spouting off some things I clearly had no business believing.

That moment when I truly, once and for all, stopped believing is my own personal moment and it's not necessary for me to share it. If you ever find yourself questioning god and your church and your leaders and whatever else around you, I recommend you read Hitchens' book because it might be the outlet and differing view you need to reinforce whatever direction you choose. You may read it and decide he's a nutcase. You may think he's right on the money. You may think he's somewhere in between. And good for you either way. All I know is that religion, church and whatever else is gone for me and isn't coming back.