What I've Watched: Sex and the City

OK, here I go. I was a Sex and the City watcher. Yep, I can be man enough to admit. When you are living with a woman after so many years, you end up getting forced into watching shit TV you never want anything to do with. Luckily, my goddess divine knows that I won't go near the living room when anything from MTV, E! or Style is on. I just won't do it. I have too much pride in myself and my brain cells.

But when it was rocking on HBO, I can say I saw every episode. It happens. Unavoidable. So I knew all the storylines. I, for better or worse, could breakdown all the plusses and minuses of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. I put up with all the ways they stereotyped the guys they dated so that it was easier to dump them and make the ladies look better. And by all means, don't get me started with the whole Carrie/Big/Aidan thing. Big is a dickwad and doesn't deserve to even be on the show. Aidan was a good man until they decided to make him a tad crazy so Carrie had a out to dump him at the altar. What a bunch of shite.

Anyway, this is about the movie. On the whole it's entertaining, and I must say that after a few years of the show being off the air, it was fun for a couple hours to watch the characters back in action. The story starts out strong for the 45 minutes or so, and then all the wheels come off. There is a trip to Mexico, Miranda never says a positive line in the entire film, Big somehow doesn't get run over by a train, and the whole plot is wrapped up in about 4 minutes. To say, in the end, that I was disappointed would be a statement I would not deny.

But I still stand by the fact that it was fun to see that group of characters again. I wish several of them were handled better and more to their characters when it was on HBO, but I guess things could have been worse; they could have had Aidan show up so Carrie could spit in his face or something.

What I've Watched: Role Models

I admit to having gargantuanly low expectations for this movie. Dan wanted to see it, and I couldn't come up with a good enough reason to avoid it. I cannot overstate my lowered expectations. Short of 90 minutes of two guys crapping in a meadow, I was not imagining anything resembling a decent flick.

In Role Models you have two guys playing roles we all know, because they have done them before and they have simply changed the names because that sis what writers do when grasping for straws. Sean William Scott plays Wheeler, which is as useful a name as Stifler, and in this movie he's just another womanizer who dresses as a minotaur. Paul Rudd plays ... well, he plays Paul Rudd. Which is to say that he is the same frickin guy in every movie, and this one is no different. Imagine his typical burnt-out guy who is a jokester but has woman troubles, and so he figures it all out, only after getting dumped by his lady and becoming friends with a 15 year old.

I can say that this movie did have some funny lines in it, mainly uttered by the two kids in the movie (one of them is McLovin), and also Jane Lynch from the Christopher Guest movies. There is also a huge subplot involving the Darkon people, and after watching the documentary just a few days previous it was pretty damn funny to have a connection to the movie. But I have to say that there was no coherent plot, just a bunch of funny lines and some scenes thrown together. It didn't make much sense, and it definitely was not worth the $11 per ticket I paid to see it, but I am not going to hold it against Dan. I know my wife has the group has taken the group to movies we all thought were just hideous. Me, I'd never do such a thing. Ever.

What I've Watched: Slumdog Millionaire

After the disappointing morning viewing of the 007 film, luckily the lady and I were given a reprieve when our friends Dan and Ashley wanted to go check out Slumdog Millionaire.

The film centers around a young guy who is winning big on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. One question away from victory, he is arrested and accused of cheating, because he is poor and more or less homeless, which naturally means he must be a drooling moron with no functioning brain cells. Clearly the showrunners didn't know about With Honors. Taking the movie up a notch, and without trying to give anything away, you learn about his life through the questions the gameshow's host asks. It's a nice nonlinear narrative that is not always seen and is highlighted more when you consider how completely uninventive Hollywood is these days.

What worked out best in the film for me was that it is so rare to find a solid film where the cast is not white. Bend it Like Beckham and others have tread this ground before, but this is an interesting groundbreaker because the director is a well-known guy. Danny Boyle is more appropriately known for directing Trainspotting and 28 Days Later, but to his best film will always and forever be Shallow Grave. It has a sentimental attachment for me, since my film buddies Dan and Luke introduced the movie to me and we all (a decade later) still make jokes about it and it was an early sign that the three of us would be good friends.

The movie does take a simple word like destiny and weaves a really cool story in a altogether unfamiliar culture to give a most pleasant surprise this film season. So once you read the other reviews from this marathon weekend you'll see quickly that Slumdog turned out to be the best movie I saw.

What I've Watched: Quantum of Solace

There is no denying that James Bond is a bad motherf*(&#$er. Just is. I don't care how corny Roger Moore was, or how pompous and stupid Pierce Brosnan played him, or how only Timothy Dalton could make Bond look like a 3rd grade wiener that I could beat up. He's still Bond, and Daniel Craig's take on Bond has been welcomed, if not for the debonair charm that Moore and Sean Connery gave the character then at least for the simple fact that Craig's Bond can beat the tar out of anyone.

Casino Royale was a great "reboot" to the franchise, though its somewhat stupid to call it that since every time they change actors in the tux its a reboot in some ways. But this Bond series is now all about competing with the Bourne's and Batman's of the world. Casino Royale's story was decent most of the time and set up what could be a formidable SPECTRE-like omniscent evil organization for him to battle. But Quantum fell short in many ways for me. The story was complete crap (even though the premise sounds intriguing), the action was devoid of meaning and in the end it just didn't feel like a Bond movie. And isn't that the most important thing?

To have Bond be so serious and missing some of the outright camp that made it unique is to take away a piece of its chemistry. I'm hoping that the third Bond in this series of films will bring back the gadgets (there were none in this movie), tighter action scenes (the fast-paced, quick cuts that are the current fad in action flicks is a mind-numbingly cheap ploy to cover for shoddy direction), a worthy title track (that noise by Jack White and Alicia Keyes was unspeakably horrid) and, damnit all, I need Bond sipping martinis and getting smooth with the ladies. The "stationery" line in Quantum was by far the best line in the whole movie. And no one in my theater even got the joke.

FARTing Around DC

Saturday was a day of tough decisions for me. I had the chance to participate in two worthwhile opportunities, and I had a hard time choosing. For weeks I had seen the posters for the Walk for the Homeless. I had plans on participating, but a late-night session of Gears of War 2 with the clan made rising for the 9 a.m. start time a little too daunting a task.

Luckily, I had a fallback, which was proposed to me by my good friend Kristin. Her friend is on the board of FART, a nonprofit comprised of friends who were tired of the intramural leagues here in DC. I know what they mean, because after a few seasons of intramural soccer and flag football, those leagues were nothing but college grads and men in their 30s trying to beat the shit out of each other. The fun was 100% removed, and it was all about winning and if you could do it degrading your opponent, all the better. Hey folks, you're not earning a paycheck on that field, and you're not getting any chicks breaking another person's leg, either, so quit with the uber-macho shite.

Anyway, back to FART. Or, Faux Athletic Recreational Tournaments. The point is to have fun on weekends and also benefit a worthy cause. The event I did was a DC Hide and Seek. They've done bizarro things like Connect Four tournaments and stuff like that, but this was their first big-scale event.

My team, the Nickels (don't ask), were given a printout of clues to the location of FART members hiding around DC. We followed the clues and found our hidden folk hiding in all sorts of places (Hirschorn Museum, an ice rink, a cafe in Dupont Circle, outside a Best Buy in Columbia Heights and many more).

In the end, the Nichels prevailed, coming in first place. I expected nothing less, since Kristin and I attacked the contest with a fervor worthy of Terry Tate. Our team had the fewest members (four) but we would not be denied. Kristin, Maggie (both pictured), myself and a certain person who is dead to us because he went Benedict Arnold on us during the awards ceremony, we all stepped up and kicked some Hide and Seek ass. In addition, FART collected enough entry fees and donated coats to clothe 8 people and feed 24 for the holidays, so we had fun and helped out some people, which was great.

Not sure what FART has in store for the future, but I hope they continue to push the activities. There are some angry people here that could use some light-hearted fun that benefits someone other than themselves.

Needing The Piemaker's Touch

I don't watch a lot of TV. I do watch lots of movies and I like some HBO and NBC shows, but for the most part I stick to watching the Planet Green channel and stuff like that. But one of the newer shows that I got instantly hooked on is Pushing Daisies. It's a wildly intelligent show that (rarely) appeals to both me and the lady. The humor and design of the show is fantastic and visually enjoyable for me, while she loves the inclusion of a cutesy love story and most importantly Kristin Chenoweth in the cast. And if Kristin happens to sing during a given episode, goodness gracious you could kill my lady right there on the spot and she'd be OK with it. Here's two scenes in which she sings, and to make me happy, one of them is a They Might Be Giants song:



Well, I bring all of this up because ABC has pulled the plug on the show. It sucks. For the first time in several years I have invested in a primetime show and now it's going away. This was a damn Emmy nominee and was loved by critics, but apparently 7 million viewers a week can't sustain a show anymore. Complete bullshit if you ask me. So now they'll produce more useless shite like dancing with B Movie Stars or Jennifer Grey's Life After Dirty Dancing. Some kind of crap like that.

I will miss this show's costume and set design that looked like something a chipper Tim Burton would put together. They had a great dog, Digby, and Kristin got a pet pig named Pigby. Just too damn funny. The narrator often did his bits in rhyme, and everything about the show was original and unique, something rare in modern TV. Yet once again the forces of creativity are being squashed in favor of the forces of meaningless repetition.

Now, ABC has not completely cancelled the show, but the hiatus they have ordered may as well be the deathknell. There are only a few episodes left, and I wish that a revolt that saved Jericho a couple years back would happen here, but it looks like the Piemaker will have to close up his shop, and it saddens me. So to reminisce, here are someone's top 20 scenes in the show in it's brief season-and-a-half run.

Nice Chipper Sarah

What a moron. Some are saying she didn't know there was a large turkey getting shredded behind her. If she's that ignorant, it's further proof we didn't need her as veep. She's only 10 frickin feet away. Surprised she didn't notice the turkey carcass getting on her "The USA is A.O.K." $15 Walmart coat. What a dolt. (The embed doesn't always seem to work, so use the link here to watch the next GOP superstar).

Yes, that's her pardoning a turkey while his brother/sister/cousin/yard neighbor gets the Fargo treatment.

My Paper Challenge

Another thing I want to keep everyone updated on is my constant conversion and conversion of others into the eco/green way of living. I had an epiphany about three years ago that this, in my opinion, will be the biggest challenge facing the world in my lifetime. So now I spend tons of time researching more effective ways to help green my office, my home, my friends (besides painting them green) and anything else I can affect. I'm done just reading about it; it's time to starting helping others affect change. And that can also be done by example.

My office recycles white paper and magazines/catalogs. It's great. My last employer sucked at the whole recycling thing, and they were a newspaper company for pete's sake. No surprise, they are collapsing each and every week. So sad.

So now each day when I come home, I sort through the mail and gather up all the catalogs and junk mail me and the goddess get, and instead of pitching it I toss it all in my bag and chuck it into the recycle bin at work the next morning. It takes no extra time, no extra effort, and it makes a huge difference.

How much, you may ask? Well, that's what I am going to find out. For the next month (Nov. 18-Dec. 18) I am going to collect everything I would recycle and keep it in a box. On Dec. 18 I am going to weigh it all and see how much it comes out to. I've been recycling so much this last year or so, but I've never really paid attention to how much it really is. Figure it would be fun to see how much one person (or two, since I'll count the lady's things also) makes in terms of junk mail. Just in case you were wondering, I will keep you posted periodically on my progression and also pass along any tips I find that can help us all make a difference.

What I've Watched: Darkon

Documentaries don't all have to be about WWII, the Iraq War or how stupid Fox News is (if you don't know it by now, shame on you). Good docs can also be found when the subject is some of the off-color groups of people in our world who have, some would argue, total shit for brains.

Point in reference, the freaks in Trekkies. By the way, that dude is my hero. OK, maybe not, but if you had any reason to doubt watching Trekkies, the movie is like 2 hours of that kid and all his friends. You're are missing out on the joys of life if you have missed that movie. Or perhaps the evil waste of a human being in King of Kong is more your style. Either way, there are some great documentaries out there that highlight the bizarre nature of our fellow earthlings.

Darkon definitely resides in that category. It's not as funny, per se, as some of those other flicks, but it nevertheless has a place because this is all about a community of people near Baltimore who twice each month get together and live out Medieval times. They do this on soccer fields at local schools. Or in parks where there are children playing. Umm, hello? People should stop worrying about gays getting married and instead worry about their kids getting converted by these people.

These people get a little too into this stuff. I mean, I can admit to playing some D&D when I was a teenager and even now I get online with friends and play some raging sessions of Gears of War 2. But I don't assume the role of a dark elf trying to buy my freedom from the guy two houses away who apparently runs our mythical nation. That's just taking it a bit too far. And wait until you see how these people live. My lord, there are dead people with better living conditions. I highly recommend watching this flick, because these people are out there, folks, and we need to know more about them. They may have the keys to the kingdom if the apocalypse ever arrives.

What I've Watched: Meet Bill

Quick show of hands ... Who here likes roadkill? Ok, I see one hand up, but that person is a weirdo and I am not taking his opinion seriously. But the rest of you seem like (semi)normal people who clearly are not fans of roadkill.

Roadkill gets run over time and time again, quickly getting mashed and unrecognizable as the original creature it used to be. Meet Bill is incredibly similar. It's a over-worn tale of a middle-aged guy who doesn't know what his life has become, so he starts living a whole new "independent" life, which naturally means hanging out with a teenager and a younger chick. These movies don't bother me as a genre, because when they are done right (Lost in Translation, Broken Flowers, just to skim the surface) they can be comical, moderately introspective and don't come across as shallow. That's pretty much the total opposite of Meet Bill.

Aaron Eckhart was way better in this type of movie when it was Thank You For Smoking. Elizabeth Banks has been much better in just about any other movie she's been in. Jessica Alba can be hot at times, but when it's time for quiet scenes where she has to carry it with dialogue, you'll have better success finding details in fog. Watch it if you want, but I warned you ahead of time.

First Snow

Today was the first snow in DC. I'm always a big fan of the first snow. Means winter is fast approaching and the manic heat of summer is behind me. I love the cold weather. I think I have more in common with the Tonton than most people. I enjoy low temperatures. It was a mild summer, though, which for DC was crazy strange. Made for fantastic golf weather, and the super cold pausing the golf season for several months my be its only negative.

But you got Thanksgiving (tons of good eats), Christmas (more good food, presents and comical family moments) and New Year's (good lord more food, drinking and fun with friends). Everyone complains about the weather, but you get all these good moments of fun. I don't know what these people are whining about. The cold is here. It has brought the snow. Chris likes his weather cold.

Effed-Up Friday

My Friday was total crap. I just have to vent about it for a moment. First, I spent the entire day reading e-mails from my friends in my fantasy football league, who decided it was time to question my manhood for about 8 straight hours. It was brutal. I'm not saying that it wasn't funny at time. It was. I definitely have some fodder in my life that is easy targets. So that was a stunningly unfun way to start.

Then, the lady and I went to a rehearsal dinner in Baltimore. On the way up, we were in a car accident. Nothing serious, thankfully, but really rather annoying. Damn girl just wasn't paying attention and rammed right into us. Took 20 minutes out of our schedule and it took us 2 hours and 45 minutes to go from DC to Baltimore, about a 40-mile trip in total. Just damn annoying.

The dinner was fun. It was a on a cruise ship in Baltimore Harbor and it's where I took the picture. It was an immensely foggy night, which gave the docks and waterside a beautiful spookiness about it.

But to spoil what was a lovely evening, I returned home to find out that one of the few things I care about most, UK basketball, was upset by a ridiculously unknown school, VMI. I never liked Gillespie's hiring as the coach of my beloved alma mater and sure as hell hate it now. That was my Friday. One good thing, three bad things. Not a good ratio.

What I've Watched: Even Money

I cannot help the fact that I love to gamble. I just do. It's part of who I am. Am I clearing out the family bank account and leveraging it all on some DIII school that may or may not have 24+ rebounds in a game? No. I just like the action.

So I like throwing a few bucks here and there on games so that they are interesting to watch and I have a stake in them. Of course, "a few bucks here and there on games" tests the boundaries for some people, since my limits are different than yours. It's my money, so screw you all and get over it. I'll be fine. I don't need an intervention anytime soon.

I bring all this up because when I see movies and shows about gambling, or movies with interesting ensemble casts, I'll check them out. This lead me to Even Money. It had both gambling and a bunch of actors that may not be my favorites but can get the job done (most of the time).

Even Money just sucked, though. Let's be quick and honest. The characters were about as stereotypical as you can imagine, which would be fine except the people playing them just didn't fit. Forest Whitaker wins an Oscar for playing a cruel dictator, but isn't right as the doomed brother of a budding basketball star. Kelsey Grammer and Tim Roth are the only two who even remotely make sense, while Jay Mohr could not have died fast enough and Kim Basinger is just way to mannequin-like to be believed as a gambling addict with no real basis for gambling in the first place. Seeing Danny DeVito go all Red Brooks on us toward the end of the film was cool, although we could all see it coming.

This movie was unlike any gambling experience, because here, you saw everything coming. If gambling were like that, I'd be spending my days rolling around half-naked on a bed of money like Demi Moore. Lastly, seems like 5 guys sat in a room and just pulled a gambling term out of nowhere for the title of the film, because nothing in this movie resembles even money. Just stupid all around.

The Olympics Might Be Screwed

So a couple days ago Kelly wrote his personal breakdown of how he could best survive and beat back the pissed off guys dressed like Oakland Raiders fans if the world went all Mad Max on him.

Well based on this trailer for the new Roland Emmerich movie, 2012, Kelly better get ready for Waterworld instead of desert wastelands. So everything you just wrote about fighting dirty and adjusting well to your surroundings might be total bullshit if Emmerich has anything to say about it. But apparently the movie is about the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 and the world coming to an end through global/weather happenings. Whatever, sounds like something Dr. Venkman would come up with.

And Emmerich's clearly the authority on the subject, since his last two efforts were the apocalyptic 10,000 BC and the weather-related The Day After Tomorrow.

In The Day After Tomorrow, freakin a Dick Cheney lookalike ignores prophecies from Dennis Quaid, which honestly I would probably do also. Then Gay Cowboy has to save a band of teenagers (all adults be damned) and begin a small Lord of the Flies colony in the NY Public Library. Oh, and Dennis Quaid saves the day. I love the video, just because the sappy music makes the film look like a romance where they avoid being chased by ice. Funny.

10,000 BC fares no better. They speak English, for one thing, a language that didn't exist yet. Now, I'll let that go, because a silent film or one of the Mel Gibson "boy I want to be authentic" attempts would have been too much. Instead we got all manner of historic time periods living together at once, and a hero who spans 11 different climate types in 2 hours. I guess what I am saying is Roland Emmerich is the Lou Dobbs of environmental films. Good for him. Hope Kelly gets his girl slapping down.

The Missing Pieces

I think we are onto something here, folks. The deleted scenes are almost as good as the parts they show, and the show is already damn funny. I am now questioning my appreciation of beets.

What I've Watched: Paranoid Park

I really dig skateboarding. It's damn cool, in fact. I tried getting good at it when I was a teenager, but I'll be honest in saying that I didn't give it 100%. Hell, I probably gave it about 20%, and that won't get you anywhere but basic olleys and injuries. I wish I would have done it, though, because I do think (perhaps blindly) that I would have been good at it. I was quite a good soccer player, and those who are good on their feet usually have no problem making it on a board.

Alas, it was not meant to be, so instead I live vicariously through my buddies Kelly and Eric. You'll probably see them in my NY Skate Park gallery, where we were under the Brooklyn Bridge and people were killing on the ramps. I'll be posting that one in the coming weeks, so be on the lookout.

Anyway, this all gets us to today's review of Paranoid Park, an off-kilter murder mystery from Gus Van Sant. Yeah, after he got super, duper famous from Good Will Hunting, he decided to go off a do a bunch of low-budg indie films with casts of unknowns. He did one about in a Columbine-inspired tale, and Paranoid Park is primarily about a skater who accidentally kills a security guard and is dealing with the aftermath and whether he's gonna get caught or not.

It's the silence that makes this movie strong. The main character, Alex, is soft-spoken and you're left wondering whether it's that he's a typical teenager or if it's because he's freaking out over the death he just caused. But his eyes tell a lot, and for an unknown actor he delivers strong. The others in the cast are not bad, either, from the bitchy, preening ex-girlfriend to even the local skaters who kick it down at the skatepark. The music's dissonance and the switchback plot cuts sometimes confuse the issue and don't do as good a job as other movies who execute this technique. But it's still a solid film, and its brief running time make it a worthy watch if you're looking for something interesting and untypical from mainstream film.

Only One Macchio

1984. Not the 1984 or George Orwell. No, this was the 1984 of this movies for me. There were several movies that year I remember distinctly remember seeing. Don't know why it was that year, but for some reason the age of 7 was when I started committed movies to memory, and it was the year that sowed the seeds for my pal Kelly forever bashing me for knowing too many lines from too many movies.

Splash, Amadeus, Ghostbusters, Revenge of the Nerds, Footloose, Romancing the Stone, Police Academy, Sixteen Candles, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Breakin, Firestarter, The Natural, Gremlins, Top Secret!, Cannonball Run II, Gods Must be Crazy, Muppets Take Manhattan, The Last Starfighter, Purple Rain, Cloak & Dagger, Red Dawn, Body Double, Terminator, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Oh God You Devil, Beverly Hills Cop, Breakin' 2, Dune, Protocol, The Karate Kid.

Good effin lord, that is a murderer's row of hits. Do we EVER have years like that anymore? I'd say no. Not even remotely close.

What's sad about the state of the film industry is it's glaring lack of originality. Look back at that list. A new Terminator movie is being made. They're remaking Footloose to appeal to the High School Musical losers. Harrison Ford donned the hat and it wasn't what I thought it would be. A fourth Ghostbusters is being talked scripted. And now the word is out that they are remaking The Karate Kid. With Will Smith's kid.

I give up. Will Smith's kid is going to be the new Ralph Macchio? I am offended to the core.

Who can forget Daniel LaRusso taking down the Cobra Kai? A young Elisabeth Shue becoming one of the worst girlfriends ever? 5 teen karate dudes getting whipped by 3-foot-tall Mr. Myagi? Sensei Krease? You're the Best? Sweep the leg!? Put him in a bodybag!? Classic moments. Some movies are just too good in their original state to even consider remaking. Macchio was a once-in-a-lifetime loser-turned-hero, and there is no way he should ever be forced into the background while Will Smith's kid becomes the hero. Plus, no one will ever, EVER replace the great Billy Zabka. Don't even try this argument with me. I get violent in my defense of Zabka as the most under-appreciated actors of his generation.

This remake is dead to me. It has no chance of ever being seen by these eyes. Sure, it's not meant for my eyes, but it should be avoided like syphilis, bean sprouts, Tara Reid and ingrown toenails. These are not opinions, but facts of life.

A Quick Look Back

On Saturday night a few of us gathered to eat some food and hang out, and in the course of the evening we ended up watching the SNL Presidential Bash, where clips of political skits were shown from season's past. This got me to thinking about a great clip from The Daily Show when they mocked the idiocy of cable news and the Republican party. Watching this now through the lens of Obama being elected is hilarious. Hilariously scary that people thought she would have been a good V.P.

So Long, BVD Boy

Some of you may recall this story from earlier in October in this space. It was a warm and fuzzy tale of a guy in an office just trying to use the restroom, and instead getting a full-on show of male semi-nudity with little regard for office environment. It is still a conversation topic for a couple of my co-workers.

Well it looks like the headliner has played his last gig. We got word a couple weeks ago that an employee of one of the subletters was having his last day, and not knowing any of their names, my friend Kristin and I feared that BVD Boy was the one who was leaving. Turns out I think it is true. I have not seen the guy in awhile (neither in the halls nor with dropped trou) so I think he hath taken his show to another location. They have no idea what they are in for. Wish I could say I will miss him, but I won't.

Kristin has also now supplied with me new fodder, pointing out another subletter who when she coughs or sneezes makes a barking/yelping sound that border collies might mistake for a sign of friendship. I'll keep you posted.

Holy Creep Out, It's Catman

My buddy Kelly lives down in Dupont Circle, and while it's a great condo that he has lived in for the last seven or so years, the real special treat of the apartment is the front porch.

You see, his building started taking care of this stray black cat. Sounds nice, except this stray cat has a knack for killing rats and pretty much keeping the property safe from evildoers. This cat is a badass. And I am allergic to cats, so that is saying something.

Well, one of the residents in Kelly's building has taken a special interest the cat. And I mean a special interest. After a couple years of watching this guy, it's clear there is something between him and that cat. It's a mix of one part Dr. Evil and two parts freaky. As Janeane Garofalo once said, "You can love your pet, you just can't love your pet."

I snuck a snapshot of this guy stroking the cat not unlike something out of a perverted Godfather scene. Even walking by him and saying hi elicits no response from him. He's in a feline world all to himself. Maybe he's holding out to be king when cats take over the world. Good luck to you, pal.

Yes We Did!

I'll keep this short. I'm stunned into something many I know would not think possible from me: a lack of speech.

I'm so overwhelmed with happiness and joy and celebration that I am at a loss for words. This country is ready and has now said it is ready for a new time. It is a time I look forward to, and I time I cannot summon the proper words to describe.

Barack Obama is our president. And I have never been happier to be a citizen of this nation.

It is time for change. It begins today.

Monsters Vs. Aliens

OK, I have a little bit of a soft-spot for animated movies. Not all of them mind you (Toy Story, Monsters, Inc., Care Bears, and many others I cannot stand), but I'd be a lying fool if I said I didn't have some that I truly enjoy watching. The Incredibles, for one, is just hilarious and well done (Edna Mode is a classic character). Bee Movie was surprisingly entertaining. Wall-E, The Simpsons Movie, Finding Nemo, Wallace and Gromit, Nightmare Before Christmas. Stuff that seems like a kids movie but has a great bent of humor for adults to enjoy.

Now, I won't say this movie is going to out-and-out hilarious, but based on the cast roster (not your usual assortment of A-listers getting a fat check) and this funny trailer, it looks like it has Incredibles-like promise. I think the comical play on classic monsters has some solid potential.

Creepy And Cool All Over

I'll get half-sappy for a moment. One of my big mentors (though he never really knew it) is my buddy Bill. He's a bigshot photog on Capitol Hill. I knew a lot of the photographers at the newspapers I worked at, but Bill and I were cool with the same punk bands and making fun of our co-workers Sheila and Kelly.

When I first started taking interest in photography, Bill was cool about it, but I am sure he was skeptical and probably heard that from lots of people he knew. It did take me awhile to get my first camera and some basic gear, but I think that showed him that I wasn't insane. Then it was a matter of showing him that I wasn't a total hack.

After that was proven, he started offering to have me tag along with him on photo shoots so I could see how he works. One of the shoots we went on was at this abandoned asylum/juvenile hospital out in Maryland outside DC. It was not exactly kosher for us to be on the property, so we got to play the role of photographers and spy at the same time, which added some intrigue to the afternoon.

The light was amazing that day, and the rooms, hallways and various buildings we snuck through were amazing spaces. Some great chipped walls and ashen floors. Chairs still lingered in knooks and other creepy aspects were interesting and scary to find. One building was clearly the isolation ward, and it did not look like a fun place to spend an hour, let alone a sentence. Another was the medical care center, which still had a bunch of "equipment" strewn everywhere, stuff that I'm glad there was not a woman around to comment on.

Everything just looked like the whole place was functioning on a Tuesday, everyone went home and just never came back. Totally deserted. Among the most shocking was all the log books still all over the place, describing inmate activities and all sorts of things I found disturbing. I wish we had gone back for more visits to better document the grounds and the place as a whole, but we were only there for about 5 or 6 hours. Here's the first batch of photos I'll show you. Next week I will share the second batch. My personal favorite is the one above, this ultra-spooky nursery where rusted cribs were stacked around. The one we shot had just this stream of light from a doorway painting it, and it really had a creepy feel.

As always, hope you like the slideshow. Thanks to Bill for the inspiration and constant goading to keep shooting. If you want to see any of my other work, check out a gallery from the menu over on the top right.

Simple and To The Point

Vote.

Please, everyone, vote.

My DC vote won't mean a damn thing for Obama (he's winning DC in a cakewalk), but I'm eagerly trying to get everyone to vote for DC Councilmembers who are against opening up Klingle Road. I like having open park spaces in my neigborhood. Screw those who want to shave 2 minutes off their commute and clog up my backyard with their cars, SUVs and construction equipment for years on end.

Even if you like McCain and what he has brought to the table over the last few months, fine. I completely disagree with everything he stands for, but in many ways I'm thrilled just that this election is bringing out a lot of discussions, though they are not always polite.

I hope everyone does not pass up this chance. If you live in Kentucky and/or Ohio, PLEASE go vote if you are for Obama. If you live there and are for McCain, find something on TV to watch and avoid the polls. Just kidding. Well, not really.

Clouds of the Family Ilk

I give up. This is the week all my enemies must have been hoping for. If you have been following my travails of the last six days, surely you have seen the humor and darkness that has surrounded me. If there could be something of a culmination, it happened last night at Halloween dinner with my goddess divine's family.

My in-laws are great people. They are salt-of-the-earth, protect-your-own sort of farm/country folk. They are a collection of banking/construction owners, farmers, doctors, lawyers, education consultants, self-employed mechanical technicians, cooks and everything in between. It really is impressive. Everyone has a specialty, it seems, and conversations are always lively and full of good information.

But they are all Republicans. Die-harders. Fox News in the background at all times folks. It's the one thing that ruins it for me, as I am definitely the big-city East Coaster who, if we started talking about it, would instantly label me as a pinky commo. And that's fine, I'd get over it. But it definitely makes family gatherings difficult. I have to constantly find something to do than sit in the same room as them, especially right now when, four days before the election, they get excited for any Palin appearance on TV.

Last night was brutal. Besides listening to how "they should just get over it" when Obama effigies are hung from trees at my alma mater, I had to hear about terrorists living in the White House and Spanish becoming the official U.S. language. Just like me, they know who they are voting for, I'm just out-numbered and refuse to argue with my in-laws when they could easily dispatch me and my body would never be found.

The night finally ended, and I was able to spend most of the time doling out candy to trick or treaters who came to the door. I hope for an Obama victory on Tuesday, but I do wonder what this will do to family gatherings for the future. Screw it, I'll suffer through them for four/eight years of potential governmental bliss.