The Female Dickey

So on the tube the other night pops up this commercial that made me laugh and feel uncomfortable for the "actors" who have to star in this commercial. My joy in watching this TV spot was as boundless ...



First off, this is quickly entering the pantheon of hilarious infomercials. How many takes do you think that office guy asked for to get the "awkwardly staring at her breasts" look juuuuust right? 20? 50? Plus, I watched the scene a few too many times and started wondering what the dynamic is. Because she's sitting at a desk with lots of leather-bound books and oak furniture, so is she the boss that has the uber-creepy assistant? What kind of profession is she in that she gets a full office but just now realized it might be a bad idea to show off the boobs to co-workers? I'm captivated by the thoughts of what this office must be like. Or, what was the casting process like ("Uh, yes, we're looking for large boobs and someone who doesn't mind a stranger staring at them and you have no lines." Sold!) And, yes, I have re-watched this commercial too many times, but damn it's funny.

And the script is classic. For instance, they even worked in a frickin rhyme into the commercial:

You love the low-cut top for going out at night,
But in the office it’s just not right.
You’ve tried safety pins but they leave holes and just look wrong.
And with a camisole you end up tugging and adjusting all day long!

Don't think Charlie Kaufman was writing that up. More than anything, I was shocked that this camisole thing was such a problem that it required a dickey to fix it. After bringing up this commercial to women I know and trust to not slap me, they in fact agreed that this situation is real and something like this makes a modicum of sense, even if the construction and product itself looks like it costs about -$.05 to make. Just never thought women had this kind of problem, or else why would they wear them (of course, that then opens up a whole door to high heels, pantyhose and whatever else).

Anyway, this commercial made me laugh for the longest time, and then I got real mad because I was fearing that this Cami Secret thing would try and trump the greatest Dickey of all time, and then relaxed knowing it could never beat Cousin Eddie.