Die, Asian Tiger, Die

So this piece of shit insect is my new enemy. I loathe its existence. It's the Asian Tiger mosquito, and it's infested the greater DC area this year. These little bastards know no fear. And they swarm. You're not getting bit by one, but by 6 or 7 of them at once. It's unreal. Friends and family are getting eaten alive out here. I don't get it nearly as bad as others, perhaps because I have some natural stench that repels them (never wanted to stink this bad in my life), but for whatever reason, I don't attract them like others do, but lately they are breaking through my defenses and I'm getting bitten more regularly.

Well now I am taking the fight back to these annoying fuckers.

We started small, getting citronella candles and some bug spray for when guests are here. Clearing out some ivy and weeds has hopefully help give them less area to congregate and mate like rabbits (screw it, for now I'm saying they mate like skeeters). Then we were given a Mosquito Magnet Liberty, which supposedly kills mosquitos up to 1 acre in coverage. So far, it's looking more like snake oil than effective skeeter killer. I'm not going to stop there.

My grandmother was kind enough to give me, the eco boy, some natural methods of killing these suckers, using a mixture of vinegar and sea salt. That will definitely be a way we go about it next spring. Another natural method I'm going to try is bats. They love mosquitos, so I bought a bat house and will install it in the back yard (it'll take more time to attract the bats, but we're going all out here and no option is unworthy of my attention).

Today I spent 30 minutes spraying some stuff on the ivy that claims it will give me 8 weeks of mosquito freedom. I'm buying that like I buy a sober Billy Gillespie, but anything is worth a shot. I don't think talking the mosquitos away will be an effective ploy, but I am open to any options. I want to enjoy my yard, damnit, so prepare yourselves Asian Tiger, I am bringing the thunder, like Rainbow Randolph: