Trailer Love

I'm showing off two trailers today that are geared toward the wife but for two wholly different reasons.

First up is the trailer for One for the Money. The wife reads these Janet Evananonconcnnovovnivich books like I read UK recruiting news, which is scary since it means I probably have a problem that needs professional help. I've never read any of these novels, but apparently it's all about this woman who has trouble deciding between two d-bags and caring for her alcoholic mother while fighting crime and getting her car blown up more often than our dogs take a crap. I just roll my eyes at the thought of these things, but she got hooked on them from my mother (damn you woman!) and now the wife is converting every female she knows into Stephanie Plum fan.

When the wife gives me the crazy eyes every time I see a trailer for a new comic book movie, I just relax and remember the love she has for this Plum character and how every woman in this nation has craved these novels to be made into moves. Well it's happened and the result is delicious gawd-awfulness.



This movie looks like a steaming pile of grade-A shit. And I know this not only because I know a thing or two about movies, but also because the wife and my mother have screamed bloody murder about Heigl being a insulting choice for this role (she spent about 11 minutes learning that Jersey accent) and complained bitterly about nearly every scene shown in that trailer. Not sure I'll see the wife angrier than if Michelle Bachmann became her adoptive mother or chocolate cake suddenly became a banned substance. Either way, it's pretty hilarious how much she hates what this movie has become.

On the complete flip side is the trailer for War Horse. Some no-name director named Spielberg put this one together, and not only do I have the feeling that I'll be seeing this movie with the wife more than once, but that this movie could single-handedly crush the wife's all-time crying record set by the movie Up. The trailer alone may set her back a few dollars in Kleenex. The woman loves a horse (and who doesn't?), so what can I say? Be brave, my dear wife, be brave.