My Surprise 2012 Calendar

Back in the summer the wife and I finally found a Chinese takeout restaurant that made good-tasting food and delivered quickly. It's not something to take for granted in DC or any major metropolitan city for that matter. They offer a nice range of food with excellent prices, and the best part is that you can order online with ease, and they always have the food there within 30 minutes and the delivery guys are nice and friendly. You'd think I would do a testimonial for them.

After all this time, I'd have gladly been a strong supporter, but just before we left for the holidays things got a little harried.

We ordered dinner and they delivered what looked like a rolled-up 2012 calendar, which I thought was nice. Something for customers that had the menu attached and would engender customer loyalty and so forth.

Then I opened the calendar, and honestly was a little blown away.


So maybe I was just expecting something a tad more Chinese new year/traditional. So, OK, it's a girl in a bikini. Nothing to necessarily be alarmed about. But then I started to page through the following sets of months, and it got bleaker and bleaker.


Red light! Red light! Now it went from a girl having fun in the sun to straight message parlor territory. Now I had to start to worry about toeing the line between laughing my ass off because of how comically inappropriate this was getting, to really hoping there wasn't some happy family of five whose 12-year-old was the first to open up the calendar. This is why I fear having children: you can be the best parent you can, but you can't prepare for weird shit like this showing up.


Good grief. We've left massage parlor territory and veered directly into full-blown advertising for sexual favors. Not sure you can look at that photo and think anything else. Plus, it's no longer worrying about some kid seeing this; it's just straight creepy now. You're a delivery restaurant and you're handing out suggestive 2012 calendars to your customers? Hey, if I were back in college and 22 years old, I'd probably think this was hilarious and funny and I'd throw more money at them. But that's because I was young, probably drunk and a lot dumber than I am now. In 2011, it's just uncool, people. Damn them for having such good food, but there is a really strong chance we're going hunting for a new Chinese takeout restaurant.