My Sister's Not-So-Secret Food Joy

One of the surprises of this recent holiday break was learning one of my sister's food crushes. Girl loves herself some White Castle. Needless to say, I was both stunned and proud.

As someone who admittedly ate quite a fair share of those greasy, oniony, grilled burgery delights. Let's be clear, the things are damn delicious. They get you thinking things you wouldn't dream of doing, but you suddenly find yourself talking to yourself not unlike this:



Believe me, this is real. Anyway, I was not only shocked to hear her talk about her trips to White Castle when she's back in Louisville (poor Denver is not blessed with the shining white beacon on a dark, desolate street), but that she likes it so much that someone gives her gift certificates so she can eat them for free. Outstanding.

So before she left on her flight we took 30 minutes to drive down the road and sit at the grimy counter and chow down a four-pack. Being the first time I can remember eating a White Castle burger in probably 10 years, holy crap if they were not spectacular. I was shocked by how "nice" and "clean" the White Castle establishments have tried to become. I appreciated the dirty, nasty floors and the grease-stained window where you stood and watched these ladies cook 40 or so of these burgers at once. It's less depraved in appearance but the clientele are still the same.

We laughed when a guy in front of us in line gave us a well-reasoned pitch on which combo packs to order so that we could best maximize the money on her gift certificate. I even snapped a great picture of her proving her devotion to the White Castle cause.

And when we sat down, I loved every bite, and I even ate mine faster than her.

Idiot of the Day

I got on the Metro the other day and this fool was sitting there with three piping hot pizza pies resting on his lap, drumming his fingers loudly while staring ahead. It was a bold "I'm announcing my presence with hot, fresh, good-smelling food" and at the same time "I'm peeing in a semicircle to mark my territory like a momma lion feeding her cubs a recently killed gazelle" kind of move. I was impressed with his cojones, until I spied the four ravenous-looking teenagers that more closely resembled zombies after the meatsuits wore off (2:30 mark)) in the Walking Dead. Not saying he couldn't have survived, but then again, an idiot shouldn't bring that much food on a train without expecting questionable glances. Idiot could have taken a cab.

My Prodigal Sandwich

This is one of my favorite sandwiches ever, but something I haven't had in more than six years. It's a simple tuna fish sandwich. A little celery, some arugula and a slice of cheese on toasted bread. Yum. The wife loathes the smell of tuna fish, so she banned tuna fish from the house. Harsh, I know. She rules the house with a Prussian-like intensity. It's been a long hiatus, but I finally convinced her that her fiat dictatorship cannot stand. So I brought tuna fish back, and the first bite was delicious. I'll be having many more of these, trust me. Welcome back, tuna fish.

My Surprise 2012 Calendar

Back in the summer the wife and I finally found a Chinese takeout restaurant that made good-tasting food and delivered quickly. It's not something to take for granted in DC or any major metropolitan city for that matter. They offer a nice range of food with excellent prices, and the best part is that you can order online with ease, and they always have the food there within 30 minutes and the delivery guys are nice and friendly. You'd think I would do a testimonial for them.

After all this time, I'd have gladly been a strong supporter, but just before we left for the holidays things got a little harried.

We ordered dinner and they delivered what looked like a rolled-up 2012 calendar, which I thought was nice. Something for customers that had the menu attached and would engender customer loyalty and so forth.

Then I opened the calendar, and honestly was a little blown away.


So maybe I was just expecting something a tad more Chinese new year/traditional. So, OK, it's a girl in a bikini. Nothing to necessarily be alarmed about. But then I started to page through the following sets of months, and it got bleaker and bleaker.


Red light! Red light! Now it went from a girl having fun in the sun to straight message parlor territory. Now I had to start to worry about toeing the line between laughing my ass off because of how comically inappropriate this was getting, to really hoping there wasn't some happy family of five whose 12-year-old was the first to open up the calendar. This is why I fear having children: you can be the best parent you can, but you can't prepare for weird shit like this showing up.


Good grief. We've left massage parlor territory and veered directly into full-blown advertising for sexual favors. Not sure you can look at that photo and think anything else. Plus, it's no longer worrying about some kid seeing this; it's just straight creepy now. You're a delivery restaurant and you're handing out suggestive 2012 calendars to your customers? Hey, if I were back in college and 22 years old, I'd probably think this was hilarious and funny and I'd throw more money at them. But that's because I was young, probably drunk and a lot dumber than I am now. In 2011, it's just uncool, people. Damn them for having such good food, but there is a really strong chance we're going hunting for a new Chinese takeout restaurant.

Blog Action Day 2011: Three Things You Can Do

Continuing the theme for Blog Action Day, here are five easy things you can do (believe me, it's not even 10 a.m. and I've already done them, so no excuses) to take part.

1. Sign and share this petition: Take immediate action against the famine by signing this petition and asking world leaders to ensure people do not go hungry. Then, share the petition with people you know. If are connected to the Twitter, use the hashtag #BAD11.



2. Watch and Share “The F Word” Video: As is typical, celebrities have been solicited to take up the fight as well. If there were no crises, I'm not sure what Bono would spend his time doing, but hey, at least he cares. Besides, this is an excuse for me to drop a different kind of F-bomb.



3. Check out this graphic: This “Fight the Famine” interactive chart illustrates the countries that are leading relief efforts in Africa and those that are lagging behind. Canada, Germany and the UK have fulfilled their aid commitments, while France and Italy still have work to do.

Blog Action Day 2011: Save the Children

First post of Blog Action day 2011 (Food) is a video from Save the Children. It’s got some surprising facts about hunger and the end of the quiz asks you to take action to keep Congress from slashing the aid budget while famine ravages East Africa.