Game On: Week of April 27

Here is my recent column, reviewing Ridge Racer Unbounded and Armored Core V. Thanks to the North Jersey Papers for publishing.

  

Random Thing That Looks Cool

Couldn't help but be enamored with this video of all the little tweaks and things that Rajon Rondo (ahem, former UK point guard and Louisville native) does when the balls get tipped off. Bonus points that he does soccer moves. I want him to kicking it to himself like a hackeysack sometime. Anyway, no real reason to post this other than I thought it was pretty cool and interesting insight into the human condition. Or something like that.

Friday Funnies

When my mom was in town last week, we watched Game Change, that little-talked-of movie about Sarah Palin being selected as VP candidate to McCain. Decent movie, not my favorite, but entertaining. But if nothing else, it gave the wife and I a chance to laugh over the truly best thing to come of that whole experience, Tina Fey kicking ass.

Idiot of the Day

I got on the Metro the other day and this fool was sitting there with three piping hot pizza pies resting on his lap, drumming his fingers loudly while staring ahead. It was a bold "I'm announcing my presence with hot, fresh, good-smelling food" and at the same time "I'm peeing in a semicircle to mark my territory like a momma lion feeding her cubs a recently killed gazelle" kind of move. I was impressed with his cojones, until I spied the four ravenous-looking teenagers that more closely resembled zombies after the meatsuits wore off (2:30 mark)) in the Walking Dead. Not saying he couldn't have survived, but then again, an idiot shouldn't bring that much food on a train without expecting questionable glances. Idiot could have taken a cab.

Game On: Week of April 20

My recent column reviewing Shinobido 2 and Army Corps of Hell. Thanks to the North Jersey papers for publishing.

  

My Movie Challenge

Having trouble motivating the wife to conquer more of the movie list lately. I’m trying to sparse out the “really good” movies that I know are good so that there is always a flick on the horizon that I know will pull her back in. But I’m starting to think I need to go on a run of kick-ass classics that way she’ll perk her interest up to stick through the ones that are obviously supposed to be good (they made the top 100 after all) but that she’s not exactly preening to see.

Our recent viewing was of the surprisingly not-so-great “Rebel Without a Cause” starring James Dean. I know this movie has been used as a cliche and also as a standard-bearer for disillusioned youth (still to this day) but I just couldn’t get my head wrapped around it.

In my mind, I can’t help pointing out all the massively glaring errors in dialogue and plot structure that exist in this movie. It was released in 1955, just a month after Dean’s death, so I can see how his performance and the role became larger than life based on his looks and personality and the circumstances around his death. But there are plenty of other movies released in the 50s that weren’t littered with “what the hell?” moments.

Put simply, the plot is that Dean’s family has moved to a new city and he’s having trouble adjusting. Where it goes off the rails is that he gets involved in no fewer than three shootouts, a visit to the drunk tank, a stabbing and falling in love with a complete stranger all in the span of 24 hours. I’m not kidding. How this range of events take place without someone saying, “Hey, let’s throw in a sunset and sunrise just to give the audience a break or make sure they don’t think California is just a place governed by one long alcohol/drug bender.” Just saying.

There is also a massive plot error that takes place during the final act that I just couldn’t accept and decided “oh why not, everything else makes so little sense in this movie, way to throw magic telepathy powers into the mix as well.” Natalie Wood does her best wet blanket routine, and the other actors are serviceable but this movie was always about Dean, and he’s center frame at all times, and rightfully so. He carries what little common sense the movie has, but he does it well. I just don’t think I’m gonna queue this one up again anytime soon.

Friday Funnies

At a party last week we discovered that the wife had never seen Eddie Murphy's "Delirious" special. I was a little stunned, so in her honor so she's not too far behind the curve until I get the chance to show her the whole thing, here's a little snippet of his greatness from the 1980s. Parts of this special have some serious homophobic stuff and crosses a few other lines we're not likely to see these days, but it's still pretty awesome.

Idiot of the Day

It’s been a long time since I last gave you fair readers an Idiot of the Day but I have a great one for you from my recent vacation to the West Coast.

Our flight from Baltimore to Las Vegas was a special one because of this lady who decided she was going to go out of her way to epically disturb everyone within three rows of her in their own special way. She also made me firmly believe that Grey Gardens is now a traveling show. From here on out, I’m calling her GGL (Grey Gardens Lady).

She sat on the aisle with two seats to her left. I sat on the aisle across from GGL with two people to my right. Here’s a breakdown of her idiotness affecting us all.

Guy in window seat, her aisle: This dumbass thought it great to bring up the fact that he owned a cat just like her. How does he know this? GGL brought the damned beast onto the plane and crammed it in a travel case too small for its wide girth and so it meowed and yammered nearly the whole flight. He thought it was kinda cute for the first hour but that devolved by the time we passed over Missouri.

Woman in middle seat next to her: Already confined to the second-worst seat on the plane (first has to be any seat in the aisle near the back-of-the-plane bathroom) She suffered the most of anyone by any measure on the planet. It was a nightmare of Elm Street-ian proportions. GGL wouldn’t shut up the entire time and made her and the guy always climb over her instead of standing up and moving out of the way to let them get to the bathroom. And honestly, no words can describe how much GGL talked about shit that woman wanted no part of. When we all departed the plane, no fewer than eight passengers offered to buy her a drink at the nearest Vegas airport bar. At one point during the flight, my wife looked over and mouthed “I’m sorry” to the woman, who got big eyes and mouthed back “HELP ME.” I wish I were kidding.

The wife, seated next to me: Her fascination went into fever pitch when GGL decided it was time to spend 90 minutes applying makeup. In her seat. With no lights. Using a compact mirror as a guide. She may as well have been blindfolded. She wasn’t shy about applying many layers, many shades and many, many types of makeup. She had all this in a purse that she kept tucked between her legs and the cat for much of the flight.

Off-duty flight attendant, widow seat, my aisle: He kept assuring us that everything would be fine, that this woman couldn't possibly get the plane diverted unless she set the cat free or decided to throw a bigger fit when ...

On-duty flight attendant, roaming the plane: First, when the plane was taking off, GGL refused to take her three carryons and put them under her seat. Then she refused, once discovered that she had three carryons, to put at least two of them above her because, and I'm quoting directly here, "My gloves are in that bag, and I don't let my gloves away from me ever." Oh yeah, her gloves. Grey Gardens, people. Grey. Fucking. Gardens. Third, she decided as we landed that she should get up and start heading toward the door to exit. And I say "as we landed" because she had her seat unbuckled and was making a move to stand up as the pilots were still applying the brakes as we touched down. This ignited ...

Off-duty flight attendant, widow seat, my aisle: He snapped into a deep baritone and went all angry James Earl Jones or some shit and scared the hell out of her and a few other passengers with his "ma'am, sit down immediately and buckle that seat belt. I mean, immediately." It was awesome. GGL thought some random jackass was saying it, but when she shot a glance past me and saw it was from an in-uniform attendant, she huffed but sat still.

Last but not least, me: My favorite moment from her had to be when she suddenly became mobile and went to the bathroom. With the cat. And then didn't come out of the bathroom for 27 minutes. I timed it. I'm sure it was just a case of letting the cat out, but it's not like the bathroom is built like a spacious den. It's a airplane bathroom. As they say, you can love your pets, just don't love your pets. It was creepy. I'm just glad she didn't exit the bathroom smoking a cigarette.

Friday Funnies

Quick Friday Funnies since I am traveling all day today and tomorrow getting back home after a nice vacation out on the west coast. When in doubt, 30 Rock always makes me laugh.

Game On: Week of April 6

My recent column, reviewing Tiger Woods PGA Tour 13 and Kid Icarus: Uprising. Thanks to the Detroit News for publishing.

Friday Funnies

Since I'm in Seattle, I thought it proper that I honor a classic movie of my teen years, Singles. This is a great clip featuring the fellas from Pearl Jam being the band members for Matt Dylan's character. As a special bonus, Jeff Ament is rocking an Aerosmith hat.

Things That Look Cool

Sometimes you just run into cool things on the web. Many of you already know that Rear Window is one of my all-time favorite movies. And this guy decided to do a cool trick. He used After Effects (and fancy Adobe video product) and merged all the clips of the neighbors' scenes and made one big panoramic video. Really cool. Once again, finding people with talent I wish I had.

My Bash with Bashi

It's a mix of emotions today. It's my last day with an organization I have devoted five years of my life to, which has its share of sadness and disappointment. The other share is filled with joyful expectation and excitement about starting a new job in just a couple weeks.

So I'll try to numb both emotions by listening to same awesome live music tonight. I'm seeing Kishi Bashi, a guy who mixes his own music while on stage playing it. He's armed with a violin and a horde of foot pedals that he taps to record loops and create entire 6-minute songs on the fly. I was introduced to him a couple months ago when he opened for Alexi Murdoch, and I was blown away by how good he was. Tonight, he's the opening act again, but for some band called Of Montreal that I've never heard of. Maybe they will suck, maybe they will be good. But I'm there for the opener, and I'm ready to hear him mix up some great tunes while I juggle my emotions, transitioning from one adventure to another.

Game On: Week of March 30

Here is my recent column reviewing I Am Alive and Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City. Thanks to the Ventura County Star for publishing.