Shit That Should Not Be

You all know that I don't read much fiction, but the few authors I do read, I revere. One of them is Lee Child, and his Jack Reacher novels. Reacher is a badass. An ex-MP officer who strikes fear in the hearts of those who wrong others, and is not afraid to put hands on someone who doesn't do right by whatever community he happens to be traveling through.

Look, I laughed a little when the wife's favorite series of books got turned into a Hollywood shitshow. But this is different. This time its my books (well, hers too, since she loves Reacher as much as I do) that are getting messed with, and I'm peeved. Tom Cruise is shorter than my sister I think, and the idea of him playing a 6-5, ass-kicking MP officer sets my teeth on edge. My dog cuts a more imposing figure than Cruise does. And this trailer convinces me that Hollywood is out to destroy anything I hold dear (well, unless it's a comic book movie, in which case they are more often than not knocking those our of the park).



Oh, and I've always had a little crush on Rosmand Pike. So that she's in this movie is probably the only plus going for it. But this movie had such easy potential, and they ruined it. And now it is shit that should not be. And I sure as hell won't be giving Cruise a dime of my money.

My Childhood, Bastardized

This one is going to be rather simple. I love board games as a kid. Actually, screw that, I still love board games. Friends and I still get together now and then to play Trivial Pursuit or Scattergories or some kind of game that pairs well with drinking. My two favorite board games are Clue and Life. I actually wish my friends and I would play Life sometime, because I think it would be a different kind of experience altogether to play it in our 30s than when we did in our teens (making $35,000 as a teacher as the game said back then seemed awesome ... hell, I think a lawyer only made $100k in the original game).

In any event, this post isn't about Life or who killed Ms. Scarlett in the kitchen with a wrench. No, this is about a basic board game that has been bastardized beyond recognition. Because honestly, how the hell does one equate this:



With this:



Besides both opening with video of an actual battleship, I see no difference at all. And by golly that movie looks like shite. Oh, and this trailer makes it appear that these mechanical alien dudes pretty much can wipe out a city and a fleet of ships with little worry, so I'm already calling bullshit that America ('fuck yeah!') is magically saving the day here with a couple cruisers and Rihanna in tow.

Shit that Should Not Be

Just click on this link and let it roll for about five minutes. Let's just say, this guy (pictured) is heavily involved. And he hopefully got punched a lot by the cameraman and anyone else in the studio where this was filmed.