De-Jeweled

Around the beginning of the year, one of the wife's iPhone purchases got copied onto my phone during an update. Since it's a video game, I figured what the hell, and gave this Bejeweled 2 a chance. I rocked it early on, but then gave it up after awhile because it just was a tad repetitive. Then, randomly in June, I scored over 800,000 during a train ride home one night.

It was then that I decided that I had to break a million or else I'd never forgive myself. So a couple times a week on the train I would fire it up and give it a whirl. 600,000 here, 700,000 there. I thought I had the game made, but after about two months of trying, the game suddenly went in Eff You Mode. I was getting worked repeatedly, sometimes barely breaking 500,000. I was pissed.

Then last week in Hawaii, while waiting for the wife to get some medications because she came down with the plague, I hit a run of jewels. It was like the run Kelly and I had at the craps table in Montreal; we couldn't miss. And on this day, neither could I, only with jewels on my iPhone. I thought I had it in the bag on one run but I crapped out just over 900k. I was not to be deterred. So I hit a million, and kept going. I finally petered out at just over 1.3 million, and that was it. I did it.

So like a fine race horse, I'm putting Bejeweled 2 out to pasture. Never playing it again. Thanks for the random entertainment on my commutes.

Friday Funnies

I'll do some recaps of the Hawaiian vacation upon my return (because I refuse to spend more than 15 minutes per day here on the computer). But I can promise you that while I've had a sweet time and it's been uber-relaxing (despite the wife being sick throughout the whole vacation ... major bummer), I can safely report that at no point did things get out of control, like this guy:

Idiot of the Day

I love local news when it goes bad. This Chicago news station apparently watched this damn bridge for about 15 minutes waiting for it to implode but then cut away when it actually happened. Good times. Also I'm sure the advertisers loved one of the anchors joking that the situation was "a metaphor for this show: another crash and burn."

Friday Funnies

Head. Banging. On. Desk.

Thanks, Kentucky. You continue to make me ashamed to call you my homeland.

My First Soup

I've been trying to expand my cooking abilities bit by bit. You all know of my rib prowess by now, but I can do more than that. I've been known to make a decent chocolate cake (though I don't really care for deserts), and I'm generally pretty handy in the kitchen as a fine sous chef.

Today, I decided to branch out and make my first soup. It's a Maryland Spicy Crab Soup, something I've been dying to make since I had a killer taste of it up in Ellicott City many months back. Above is the result, and so far the tasting has gone well. Haven't had a full bowl just yet, but I have high hopes. Of course, I did get a little too excited and over-did it on the vegetables, so it won't be as brothy as it is supposed to be. But, hey, who doesn't love heaping portions of vegetables? That's what I thought.

America, F*ck Yea!

I was feeling a tad blah still about Tuesday's elections, and I needed a pick-me-up. And it needed to make fun of American Exceptionalism, because after all the Tea Partiers that got voted in, I wasn't feeling like our country was that exceptional, other than needing to be clobbered by a steel pipe.

So first I turned to Team America, which did a pretty good job, but I wanted to skip the laughter and just feel good about things. And what better place than listening to James Earl Jones talk about how the Olympics kick ass. Yeah, it's a little weird, but the intro videos they've been doing for the Olympics have been pretty damn good, even though they did dump James for some schlub and then have Costas take a turn or two. Bleh. Stick with Vader, pay him whatever he wants, he makes it better.

Anyway, here's some of the videos I am talking about. I know I'm in the minority of people who devoutly love the Olympics and watch as many minutes of it as possible (while secretly pining to become the next great American curler).

2000 Sydney Olympics (in my opinion the best one they ever did; they struck lightning first and never got it back).



2002 Salt Lake Olympics (nice Jim McKay opening, and wild to look back and think this Olympics happened just 5 months after 9/11).

This 2004 Athens one is probably the runner-up to the Sydney one. Won't lie, 40% of my vote is because of Vader again.

Readying for the Zombie Apocalypse

Kelly's lady friend alerted me to some geniuses who blended the zombie apocalypse with one of the greatest games ever created, The Oregon Trail. If you love Zombieland (hand raised) and love The Oregon Trail (other hand raised), then this is one of the best time-killers you can find on the interwebs.

In playing The Organ Trail (clever name), you pick a crew, and decide on a profession so the game can alter the experience based on what career you choose. It's awesome because the first choice is "Cop from Kentucky." Well, that was an easy choice, thanks. I created my family truckster crew of myself, Kelly, Dan, Luke and Douglass. Sorry to the wife and poodles, but surviving the zombie apocalypse is a man's job. Well, at least I thought so until Kelly got bit by a zombie about 8 feet into the drive and died about two days later when we reached Chicago. Damn, Kelly, you gotta be stronger than that.

I finished the game without losing anyone else, and found that I was a great barterer and shooter when having to scavenge for provisions. I know it's just a video game (and an 8-bit one at that), but I'm feeling more confident about my ability to make it through the zombie apocalypse in one piece, because all these things are just training, like for a marathon. But of wits.

Game On: Week of Oct. 24

Here is my column from two weeks ago. I reviewed Kirby's Epic Yarn, Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock and Super Scribblenauts. Thanks to the Nashua Telegraph for publishing.

Game On: Week of Oct. 17

Here is my column from a couple weeks' back. I reviewed Civilization V and Dead Rising 2. Thanks to the Nashua Telegraph for publishing.

Don't Be Frightened ... Again

Got to see one of my favorite bands again last night. Frightened Rabbit was wrapping up the U.S. tour so I wanted to make sure I checked them out since they probably won't be back stateside for another couple years.

The opening act, Plants and Animals, was decent but it didn't sound like they've figured out what kind of band they want to be. Good set, but every other song sounded like they were appealing to a different crowd than the one before.

Once we got to the main act, things livened up right quick. They played a little longer because they are at the end of the tour, which was nice for the crowd. They played just about every track off their two newest albums, which was awesome. The only downer were the three chicks behind us who spent damn near the whole show taking each other's picture with their phones and firing it up to Facebook. Damn annoying ladies, and your drunk asses were missing out on some great music that plays well to a frisky audience. By now you all know my love of the band. If you aren't listening to them, you should be. No excuses.