What I've Watched: Up in the Air

The Campbell holiday tradition continues, this time with the Clooney flick, Up in the Air.

Like most movie-going folk, I am a Clooney fan. He's fantastic when being in serious films like "Good Night and Good Luck" or when hamming it up and being a good sport like in "Oceans Eleven." This movie has a bit of both going through it. There are a fair share of humorous moments sprinkled throughout this movie, but it mainly centers on the serious, the moments (primarily quiet moments) when you see how good an actor he is and how he sells the character he's playing.

Up in the Air has him playing a professional hitman, but of the corporate type. He goes into firms and fires the employees because the bosses are too chickenshit to do it themselves. These scenes of how he handles it, from one victim to the next, show his ability to be both humorous and reactive without seeming fake. The main thrust of his character and the story is that because of our shitty economy, his services are in high demand, and this feeds his desire to be traveling and alone at all times.

This lifestyle, which seemed really nice in my opinion, gets a wrench thrown into it when he encounters two distinctly interesting women. First is Natalie, a new firebrand sidekick he must show the ropes to. She's got plans to use technology to usurp his usefulness, but their scenes are fantastic as she realizes that the flashiest and sexiest tech isn't going to always solve the world's problems; you need the human touch sometimes. That human touch comes in the form of the second woman, Alex, who challenges Clooney's character for frequent flier miles and need for on-the-road desire. They hit it off, and you just love seeing them together and their interaction. I subscribe to the belief that there are not enough good women roles in Hollywood. So seeing her kick ass against him in this movie was a welcome sight to the typical wet blanket stuff normally shown on the screen.

There are a few key plot turns, but I saw them coming, and only one of them truly disappointed me because I was hoping for the movie to buck convention on one moment but it didn't. I only point it out because the Up in the Air defies other plot conventions that make it a welcome addition to the movie theaters. It's just not always done, and when it is you can't help but be pleased to see it.

Up in the Air, in the end, is a movie that wants to be about making connections to other people and how they can affect the way you live and the course your life can take. I appreciated it, but also saw the film that respected the ability for people to be happy in the quiet and solitude that you inevitably run into now and then. Check out the movie, you don't need to be depressed when you leave, although you might want to, it's not the message.

Game On: Week of Dec. 17

Here is my column from about two weeks' back. Games reviewed, with a special nod to Kelly's brother Paul, were The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks and Tony Hawk's Ride.

What I've Read: The Omnivore's Dilemma

Better than just about any documentary on how your food is prepared and where it comes from, The Omnivore's Dilemma kills it in the first third of the book, giving detailed accounts to the uses and ubiquitousness of America's greatest food source, corn.

I am a foodie and I care a lot about where my food comes from. After years of reading and watching and learning, I'm much wiser about caring about the food I eat. I can't say that Michael Pollan's book converted me to a vegan lifestyle. Thankfully, that is not it's goal. Really, it's goal is simply to give you more to think about and how to approach your food decisions wisely.

Yeah, I shop a lot at Whole Foods, and Pollan makes convincing arguments that this is not always the smartest thing to do: "Just because we can ship organic lettuce from the Salinas Valley or organic cut flowers from Peru doesn't mean we should do it, not if we're really serious about energy and seasonality and bioregionalism." Being just as serious about food as I am about being green, this thought and the subsequent ones about choosing smarter was quite enlightening.

The book doesn't hate on American eating as much as it does on the people who just make poor choices or decide to ignore the issue of choice altogether. America is an industrial eating mechanism, and it's what is causing so much of the problem. "What is perhaps most troubling, and sad, about industrial eating is how thoroughly it obscures all these relationships and connections. To go from the chicken (Gallus gallus) to the Chicken McNugget is to leave this world in a journey of forgetting that could hardly be more costly, not only in terms of the animal's pain but in our pleasure, too. But forgetting, or not knowing in the first place, is what the industrial food chain is all about, the principal reason it is so opaque, for if we could see what lies on the far side of the increasingly high walls of our industrial agriculture, we would surely change the way we eat."

I think the strongest lesson I learned from the book was to pay more attention to shopping at farmer's markets and what is fresh and in season when I am shopping at Whole Foods. Another strong thing that I took away from the book is to treat food like I have the environmental choices I make: I should be willing to pay the premium at farmer's markets and Whole Foods for cleaner, safer, chemical-free food options. "Very simply, we subsidize high-fructose corn syrup in this country, but not carrots. While the surgeon general is raising alarms over the epidemic of obesity, the president is signing farm bills designed to keep the river of cheap corn flowing, guaranteeing that the cheapest calories in the supermarket will continue to be the unhealthiest."

He certainly poised good questions about why it is that we will spend premium amounts of money on cars or clothes or TVs to get the best on the market, but when it comes to food we search for convenience and cheap, and this is the probably the singular choice we make for our health three or more times a day, every day of our lives. I completely see the point of his argument that we need to take what we eat as seriously as we do other aspects of our lives, and that convenience and expectation of low prices have clouded our vision of what eating should be.

So I'm trying to follow his simple plan to smarter, better living: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

What I've Watched: Sherlock Holmes

A Campbell family Christmas tradition is to go check out movies. It started many moons ago and continues to this day, and it's always fun to talk to my mom and plot which movies we shall conquer during my stint back in Louisville. First up, Sherlock Holmes with the always-cool Robert Downey, Jr.

There was little doubt we were going to see this one. For one thing, it looked like a cool movie. Second, my mom has loved Robert Downey, Jr. since time began. She thought he was hot stuff all the way back when he was in Chances Are. I saw enough of his movies as a kid to convince myself that, for a time, being like him would be good. Except, you know, for the whole debilitating substance abuse problem. Glad I went a different direction.

Anyway, thankfully Downey, Jr. has made a nice little comeback in recent years, and along with looking forward to the kick-ass looking Iron Man 2, I was interested in seeing how this movie turned out. This is mainly because, with mom's heavy hand, I ended up watching a good deal of Sherlock Holmes movies as a child and even read a few of the novels as I grew up and figured out that reading was a good thing to do. Especially influential was watching Young Sherlock Holmes, a guilty pleasure movie if there ever was one for me. It's not the greatest thing ever made, but it was actually the first film to ever use CGI (yeah, look it up). So at least I can have a guilty pleasure movie that has some historical significance.

Pairing Downey, Jr. with a classic character like Holmes and you've got a movie I will see. And it's a lot of fun. Not an Oscar winner or anything, but a fun movie. Downey, Jr. does a solid job as the eclectic detective, and brings a witty charm and grit to the character that stands in contrast with the usual stuffy, older English types that portray the character. Jude Law is even passable as Watson, and he's not an actor I particularly enjoy watching. But here as Watson he does a decent job being cool. Rachel McAdams is the wet blanket of the movie. It is another thankless role for a female in a male-dominated film, and someone had to play the part. The dude who plays the bad guy and several of the other bit players do their job and keep the scenes interesting.

What I think the movie does best is make the puzzles and intricacies of solving the crimes much more interesting. Shows that fancy gadgets and techno-wizardry doesn't always have to solve every problem. Instead using your wits and actually showing that to the viewer and explaining it can make it very fun for the audience. I say check it out and enjoy the fun.

Friday Funnies XVI

Merry Christmas everyone, and I know no better way to celebrate it than to share a clip from my family's favorite holiday movie.

Idiot of the Day VII

To the person, or persons, who work at the SunTrust Bank branch on Georgia Avenue up near my house. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that replacing that lightbulb might just be a good idea if you are hoping to retain customers and not give off the impression that you are a shady financial institution.

My Childhood, Bastardized

The fun never stops in Hollywood, at least when it comes to killing my childhood. I had heard about this remake awhile back, but somehow thought nothing of it when I never heard further and thought maybe, just maybe, the studio people had figured out that remaking a movie that was a definitive 80s classic and one of the best sports movies ever would be a gigantic mistake. Clearly they are still insane, because while I was surfing around the interwebs' tubes and pipes, I discovered the newly released trailer.

For The Karate Kid movie. Yeah, the new one.

And can I just say to the studio people who made it: Fuck you, and I'm never seeing this movie. Thanks, you're a wonderful crowd.

Young Elisabeth Shue, the creepy homo-erotic tension between Myagi and LaRusso that has been dissected ad nauseum. "Put him in a body bag! Yeah!" Sweeping the leg. The Cobra Kai. Sensei John Crease. The living legend of movie bad guys, Billy Zabka. This is a list that truly defines a movie's greatness, and some of those things you just can't make exceptions on. Especially Zabka, who has never failed to be one of the worst actors ever but always delivers when it comes to needing a take-it-to-11 kind of bad guy.

Take a look at the trailer for the remake:

What the hell is that? I'm pretty sure that isn't the karate my buddy Luke learned when he had a mullet and won trophies and got photos taken (all of which his mom still keeps up in his house ... brilliant). Plus, what kind of Cobra Kai is it when you have budding ninjas kicking ass? The Cobra Kai needs to be a bunch of WASPy kids training in a strip mall storefront, not learning the finer points of martial arts in China (like the one I'm sure Kelly trained in when he was becoming a 7th-degree blackbelt or whatever the hell he is). I call bullshit. Plus, it's hard to work in an Elisabeth Shue wannabe when the LaRusso character is being played by a 12-year-old. Oh, and did you notice that the kid is Will Smith's child? Fucking hell, that guy is moving up my shit list quick. It's bad enough he stopped making any movie worth watching, now he's passing the legacy onto his kid. And don't even get me started about how we're gonna get some Will Smith inspirational hip hop instead of what the original movie had for music:



That is classic stuff. Shame on you, Hollywood, for bastardizing my childhood and confirming once again how little creativity you all have to try and make original movies.

Game On: Week of Dec. 10

Here is my column this week (with a special nod to Kelly). The games I reviewed were Assassin's Creed II and Left 4 Dead 2.

Playoffs? Play..Playoffs?!?!

Yes, if you've never seen Jim Mora's rant (yeah, he was a real head coach in the NFL, scary), then make sure you check it out. He might have been just a tad crazy.

Well, it's time for the playoffs ... in fantasy football. If you don't know what fantasy football is (and I had to explain it to my mother, bless her heart), then I don't know what to do with you. Just know, it involves football, your friends and gambling. How could it possibly go wrong?

And you need to understand something, I put a little pressure on myself this season. You see, I won BOTH my leagues last year. That's right, I kick ass. Two leagues, two championships. And considering how terrible I used to be at fantasy football, this was a shock to just about everyone in the leagues, and it really pissed Kelly off since he takes this a little serious. Furthermore, you should know that I am so dedicated to this stuff that I have been writing a weekly column for one of my leagues for about 4 years straight. Yeah, I'm a dork, and I'm fine with it.

At the beginning of this season, I was in the rush of a super crazy work schedule, and before I knew it, I was saying yes to everyone, and suddenly I had agreed to be not in the normal two but 5 (FIVE?!?!?!?!?!) fantasy football leagues. I must have been drugged by someone.

Undeterred, I went forth and did my best. The two main leagues I took seriously, and the others I gave it the old college try. And sure enough, I made the fucking playoffs in all five. That's right technology and rivals, suck it. I am not the best team in all the leagues, by any means, but I've made the playoffs and that is all that matters. I just can't believe I did it. Big pat on the back for me. Yes, congrats for me for being such a dork.

My Childhood, Bastardized (OK, not really)

I've not shied away from complaining to anyone who will listen that Hollywood just never ceases to try and re-imagine, reboot and retool every damn thing they can if it means they don't have to use a creative bone in their collective body.

For those of you who don't know, they're at it again ... this time rebooting the tale of Robin Hood. Now, I say they aren't really bastardizing my childhood because while I enjoyed the cartoon version immensely as a kid (name me a 6-year-old boy that didn't want to be cool hero who used shot arrows and won the girl!), it's not like it's canon by any stretch. Nor is the Errol Flynn version or the 35 other takes I think exist. Oh, and I loved the Mel Brooks parody. Good stuff. And while I did enjoy parts of the Kevin Costner film (except the poor editing and the moment about 13 minutes into the movie when he suddenly ditches the piece of shit English accent altogether and is suddenly Field of Dreams guy in an English woodsman outfit), it left a lot to be desired.

So now we are getting yet another version of Robin Hood. And damn if this one don't look a wee more violent than the previous ones. Russell Crowe is now the title character, and we've even got one of my favorites Cate Blanchett playing Maid Marian. But judging by the first trailer that has been released, it's a bit darker than the light-hearted fare that always has a touch of humor and such that we've come to expect.



Nothing against it, and it could be good. But let's remember how much fun this franchise used to be.

Man Card Member, No. 404431, Issue 5

It's long overdue, but I have to at least share the belovedness of the turkey I smoked for Thanksgiving. I wasn't going to talk about it, but Kristin did say that I didn't shut up about how proud I was of myself for about three days at work afterward, so I'm going to post it anyhow. So as you can see, my turkey rocked. And there is nothing manlier than properly smoking meat for 4 hours and getting rave reviews from a household full of friends about how much it kicked ass.

Friday Funnies XV

I'm a sucker for animal humor. Will Ferrell wrestles a bear or a cougar, and I am there. Someone leaves a tiger in a hotel bathroom, and I am laughing it up. And while I am normally under the impression that beer commercials are stupid, this one gets me every damn time. And as a white poodle owner, I'm proud to think my dog could pull this off.

Idiot of the Day VI

So I went to the grocery store the other night, and when I parked, I noticed a guy who looked a little weird, almost like he was casing this BMW in two spots away from me. I thought nothing of it, went in and bought my stuff, then came back out. When I came back, I saw the dude was still there, but he wasn't actually casing the car ... he was buffing it.

Yeah, buffing the damn thing. At 7:30 at night. In a grocery store parking. Oh, and one other thing ...

It was fucking raining.

Hey, dipshit, that isn't ArmorAll falling from the sky. That's fucking rain. So when you buff that spot out then see 20 drops right in the place you buffed, buffing it again isn't going to help. I must have watched this guy do this dance for about 6 minutes before I threw my hands up and left. He was circling his car constantly cleaning it. In the rain. I know jack shit about cars, so maybe this is some eco-friendly way of car waxing, but I'm doubting it. Plus, he doesn't LIVE at the damned grocery store, so he's got to get back in the car and drive home. In the rain. With other cars. Whatever, he's an idiot.

Friday Funnies XIV

OK, so I've been watching a lot of Penn & Teller's Bullshit show on Showtime lately. I like magic tricks (but not the stupid Chris Angel and David Copperfield kind), especially card tricks and fun sleight of hand ones. Well, this show is more about them pointing out things in society that they think are stupid. Sometimes I agree with them, sometimes I don't. But in one episode, they talked about people who believe waaaaaaay toooooo much in the power of dolphins. Oh yes, dolphins. Watch this whole thing (it's worth it), and tell me this woman isn't on massive amounts of LSD on a daily basis. By the way, you'll want to watch part 3 of that episode to see how the lady's career advice went from the dolphin lady.

Idiot of the Day V

Aren't I a nice guy? I gave this idiot a break by blotting out his eyes so no one knows who he is. Plus, I will probably go back to this place at some point, so I don't want to get beat up.

But nevertheless, this guy is an idiot. He was a bartender Sunday when me and the fellas watched some NFL football. I could not help but laugh at this bartender and his getup. Dude was wearing a tie tucked into his white button-down shirt. Innocent enough I suppose, except that it's Sunday and you're working behind a fucking bar serving drinks to hungover and rowdy football fans like myself. None of us give a shit if your shirt is Calvin Klein or Jacques Penney. But the thing that really got me was he was kicking an arm band (like a tennis player) and equipped it with a bottle opener, a few pens and his pride.

Dude, you're not Tom fucking Cruise and this ain't Kokomo. You're working a sports bar in downtown DC. Elizabeth Shue ain't walking through that door anytime soon. But good luck to you, and I'll see you Sunday.