Idiot of the Day

I'm a notoriously slow eater. Friends of mine were even making fun of me again this weekend when a buddy's girlfriend (who is relatively new to the group) said, "Wow, Chris, it's taken you like 25 minutes to eat that bowl of chili." Yeah, I can't help it, I just eat slow. Don't know if I always have, but it's been something that was pointed out to me in college and has been that way ever since. I just can't shovel the food down like some people can.

This brings me to today's Idiot of the Day. Or I should say, idiots. And honestly, you are a free-thinking human, so you eat whatever and how much ever you want however fast you want to do it. But I gotta pick on people for a moment.

The deli down the street from my office is my go-to lunch spot when I forget to bring my lunch to work or I'm in a rush or I'm just damn lazy. They make a good grilled vegetable sandwich, so it's a solid fallback (unlike the uber death machine that Kelly and I know of as the SizzEx Lone Star, but that sandwich is a whole post on its own).

Anyway, on Fridays this deli decides to unload its salad bar stock since it's closed on the weekends. The result? A promotion where as long as you buy a pound or more of items on the salad bar, it only costs $6.99. Now, I've eaten at that salad bar before, and atr no time have I ever hit a pound worth food from it. You gotta go oozing rivers of ranch dressing or something dense like that to get the weight up, but people attack this salad bar like the zombie war is coming.

It's sick to watch, honestly. I took this picture a couple weeks ago, and people were getting chappy with each other over how much croutons and shredded cheese they were piling on. As one them said, "I gotta get over a pound. It's cheaper." Why the hell are you going to out of your way to overload yourself on food like that? It's sick, really. People just piling on the grub, which they'll never eat, (or worse, hork it down because they bought it, a classic psychological ploy by the food companies) and just stuffing themselves and we wonder why their are diabetes cases skyrocketing and obesity. And it doesn't count that you're on the salad bar when you skip the beets and tomatoes and just go straight for the creamy pasta chicken salad that really should just be Cream Dressing, Accompanied by Enough Solid Objects To Make You Consider Having to Chew. And don't let that photo fool you, the line wraps around the staircase and the damn near out the door as people wait to have their own personal Kobayashi moment.

Eating food is good. Eating more than a pound's worth of food at lunch just so you can pay a flat price whether you eat 1.1 pounds or 5.6 pounds is just idiotic.