The Olympics Might Be Screwed

So a couple days ago Kelly wrote his personal breakdown of how he could best survive and beat back the pissed off guys dressed like Oakland Raiders fans if the world went all Mad Max on him.

Well based on this trailer for the new Roland Emmerich movie, 2012, Kelly better get ready for Waterworld instead of desert wastelands. So everything you just wrote about fighting dirty and adjusting well to your surroundings might be total bullshit if Emmerich has anything to say about it. But apparently the movie is about the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 and the world coming to an end through global/weather happenings. Whatever, sounds like something Dr. Venkman would come up with.

And Emmerich's clearly the authority on the subject, since his last two efforts were the apocalyptic 10,000 BC and the weather-related The Day After Tomorrow.

In The Day After Tomorrow, freakin a Dick Cheney lookalike ignores prophecies from Dennis Quaid, which honestly I would probably do also. Then Gay Cowboy has to save a band of teenagers (all adults be damned) and begin a small Lord of the Flies colony in the NY Public Library. Oh, and Dennis Quaid saves the day. I love the video, just because the sappy music makes the film look like a romance where they avoid being chased by ice. Funny.

10,000 BC fares no better. They speak English, for one thing, a language that didn't exist yet. Now, I'll let that go, because a silent film or one of the Mel Gibson "boy I want to be authentic" attempts would have been too much. Instead we got all manner of historic time periods living together at once, and a hero who spans 11 different climate types in 2 hours. I guess what I am saying is Roland Emmerich is the Lou Dobbs of environmental films. Good for him. Hope Kelly gets his girl slapping down.