What I've Watched: Even Money

I cannot help the fact that I love to gamble. I just do. It's part of who I am. Am I clearing out the family bank account and leveraging it all on some DIII school that may or may not have 24+ rebounds in a game? No. I just like the action.

So I like throwing a few bucks here and there on games so that they are interesting to watch and I have a stake in them. Of course, "a few bucks here and there on games" tests the boundaries for some people, since my limits are different than yours. It's my money, so screw you all and get over it. I'll be fine. I don't need an intervention anytime soon.

I bring all this up because when I see movies and shows about gambling, or movies with interesting ensemble casts, I'll check them out. This lead me to Even Money. It had both gambling and a bunch of actors that may not be my favorites but can get the job done (most of the time).

Even Money just sucked, though. Let's be quick and honest. The characters were about as stereotypical as you can imagine, which would be fine except the people playing them just didn't fit. Forest Whitaker wins an Oscar for playing a cruel dictator, but isn't right as the doomed brother of a budding basketball star. Kelsey Grammer and Tim Roth are the only two who even remotely make sense, while Jay Mohr could not have died fast enough and Kim Basinger is just way to mannequin-like to be believed as a gambling addict with no real basis for gambling in the first place. Seeing Danny DeVito go all Red Brooks on us toward the end of the film was cool, although we could all see it coming.

This movie was unlike any gambling experience, because here, you saw everything coming. If gambling were like that, I'd be spending my days rolling around half-naked on a bed of money like Demi Moore. Lastly, seems like 5 guys sat in a room and just pulled a gambling term out of nowhere for the title of the film, because nothing in this movie resembles even money. Just stupid all around.