What I've Watched: Quantum of Solace

There is no denying that James Bond is a bad motherf*(&#$er. Just is. I don't care how corny Roger Moore was, or how pompous and stupid Pierce Brosnan played him, or how only Timothy Dalton could make Bond look like a 3rd grade wiener that I could beat up. He's still Bond, and Daniel Craig's take on Bond has been welcomed, if not for the debonair charm that Moore and Sean Connery gave the character then at least for the simple fact that Craig's Bond can beat the tar out of anyone.

Casino Royale was a great "reboot" to the franchise, though its somewhat stupid to call it that since every time they change actors in the tux its a reboot in some ways. But this Bond series is now all about competing with the Bourne's and Batman's of the world. Casino Royale's story was decent most of the time and set up what could be a formidable SPECTRE-like omniscent evil organization for him to battle. But Quantum fell short in many ways for me. The story was complete crap (even though the premise sounds intriguing), the action was devoid of meaning and in the end it just didn't feel like a Bond movie. And isn't that the most important thing?

To have Bond be so serious and missing some of the outright camp that made it unique is to take away a piece of its chemistry. I'm hoping that the third Bond in this series of films will bring back the gadgets (there were none in this movie), tighter action scenes (the fast-paced, quick cuts that are the current fad in action flicks is a mind-numbingly cheap ploy to cover for shoddy direction), a worthy title track (that noise by Jack White and Alicia Keyes was unspeakably horrid) and, damnit all, I need Bond sipping martinis and getting smooth with the ladies. The "stationery" line in Quantum was by far the best line in the whole movie. And no one in my theater even got the joke.